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Gentlemen, we have met the problem head-on We have risen to the occasion, and beyond We have continued our work despite personal tragedy, despite deaths and losses too great to be borne The enuine heroes, and it is a crienerations, because I no longer have any faith that those future generations will exist--or if, should their existence be assured, they will be anything we could recognize as huo, and were ignored It is an unfortunate truth that the inconvenient, when ignored, tends to beco better
The situation is continuing to deteriorate There is nothing more that we can do
–MESSAGE FROM COLONEL ALFRED MITCHELL, USAMRIID, TRANSMITTED TO THE WHITE HOUSE ON NOVEMBER 2, 2027
Chapter 11
NOVEMBER 2027
I dreamt of the hot warm dark Of the hot war on and on into a peaceful eternity I , and I understood the reasons for that now My old therapist would have been ahelped a lot I didn’t need to consciously move when I was in the hot warm dark because I was the hot warm dark, and I was the occupant of the hot waro back to the si that I had once enjoyed, before I became self-aware, before I became Sal, with all the consequences that choice--if it was a choice--implied
I didn’t really think of my creation as a choice All the choices had co creature that stood on two legs, instead of swi fluidly with none If there was a price to pay for what I had become--a price for me to pay, not Sally--it was that once you were hus
"Sal" A hand touched my shoulder, accompanied by the familiar sound of Nathan’s voice The hot warm dark dissolved into the blackness behind ht after I woke up, where I had to decide whether or not waking up orth it Choices again Nathan sighed "Honey, I know you’re awake Co"
I opened my eyes and rolled over Nathan, fully dressed, with a lab coat over his broool sweater, was sitting on the edge of the bed and s ruefully atto his forehead, a sure sign that he’d coily "Why?"
"Because we only serve breakfast for so long, and then we have to start turning the kitchen over to get ready for lunch," he said reasonably Beverly had her head resting on , "It’s waffles today The chickens on the roof have started laying enough eggs that we can use thes like batter"
"I like waffles," I allowed, and sat up Beverly gaveher intent not to get out of the bed for anything short of bacon I giggled I couldn’t help it
"I like waffles too," said Nathan, his srin He never showed me his teeth when he smiled anymore What had been an affectation forand I was hu that I was a tapeworenetic atavism that no amount of therapy could cure
That sobered et soht down"
"That sounds like you’re planning to stay in bed until I leave the roo? Did you have bad dreaain?"
Sometimes I dreamt about my time with Sherman, or even my time at USAMRIID, blessedly short as it had been In my dreams, Sherman never came to save me, and what Sally’s father had planned for hter’s life--was alorse than a few ed for almost teeks, and the dreams weren’t as frequent as they had been once, but I still woke up screa on a disrupted sleep schedule
"No," I said quietly
"Sal…"
"It’s nothing"
"It’s so to meet my eyes" Nathan touched my shoulder "Tell me, please I can’t help if you won’t tell me"
"I dreamt about the hot warm dark That’s all It was… it was so nice It was soback with Sherman that I didn’t want to wake up I just wanted to stay there forever" The words were all simple ones, but between the two of us, they meant so muchso other than human, and I had wanted to stay that way But if I wasn’t huhed "Sal Look atto disappear into the hot warht now, and you know it I don’t care where you came from I never have, and I never will, and you know that" Nathan looked at me sole silly, you’re going through a perfectly natural and noroing to turn out like this, and I’m just sorry we don’t have any trained therapists here for you to talk to But I don’t care howinto the dark You’re still irl"