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So much of the way she had always interacted with me made sense now So much of it still needed to be " The broken doors that Dr Cale had spoken of so often were open now; I could no longer pretend that they were just a children’s story, sonore

I looked back to Nathan, raising n of rejection or revulsion I didn’t want to leave him, but I didn’t want to make him stay with me if he couldn’t deal with the reality of what I was I wasn’t sure I could deal with the reality of what I was--the cal was probably shock, and would pass, replaced by hysteria Better to make my choices nohen I could trustclearly

Hoas I thinking at all? A tapeworineered, didn’t have the size or coed it so Sally Mitchell’s brain, using it as storage soht made my stomach clench, and so I focused back on Nathan, as safe; Nathan, who had never known Sally, but had fallen in love with Sal, with irl who had helped her injured sister into his office He’d never batted an eye at any of my idiosyncrasies Sally’s fahter Nathan had never needed to forget a person I could never be That had always been so valuable toto understand a little bit ly, and all I saw there was concern, and hope, and yes, love He looked the same as he always had: black hair, brown eyes behind wire-fraolden-tan skin, and a serious expression that could spring into a smile at any moment I didn’t see any fear or dismissal, or even dismay, in that face I blinked

"You knew," I said, bewildered "How did you know?"

"I told him" Dr Cale sounded tired I pulled away from Nathan and turned to face his mother, as pale where he was dark, from her sun-deprived skin to the watery blue of her eyes and the ashy blonde of her hair Her shoulders sagged as she looked at me, and she said, "Back in ht he should… I’irlfriend wasn’t entirely human You clearly weren’t ready to have the sa of me"

"I think maybe it wasn’t," I said slowly "I wasn’t ready to know this yet I wasn’t letting oing to figure it out" I had already figured it out, and then locked the knowledge away froood Once the signs had been placed in front of me, they had been too easy to folloould have followed theain, and et "I needed Nathan to know before I did I needed him to have time to come to terms with it Because if he’d lefthis own freak-out at the saotten through finding out the truth abouthim pull away from me then--even temporarily--would have devastatedand Shere step toward the abyss Nathan had been able to place hi, final fall, and he’d only been able to do it because he’d already knohat I was

Dr Cale nodded "I’ for" She paused, watching ht now, and I knoe’ve all had a difficult day, but do you think I could have that thuriht now You deserve this ot" I had been refusing to give her the thumb drive full of inforave ht I wanted But then I’d been distracted by the need for blood tests and MRIs and then… "I’lis on your mind"

The words sounded faintly unreal, like she was quoting the that showed how an ethical mad scientist would behave I pulled away frohuntil I found the thumb drive in the front pocket of my jeans I walked over and held it out to Dr Cale, who took it without co but an unbuttoned lab coat Between Tansy, Adaotten used to people whose sense of modesty was somewhat less developed than the nor the little plastic rectangle gently froers "You have no idea how much we need this data"

"What is it, exactly?" I asked "Tansy said it would explain how so et soenius," said Dr Cale, still looking at the thuret in her voice "He black for him, but the only reason he could was because I kneouldn’t be doing the heavy lifting alone--he’d be there to help, and to carry it on when I couldn’t go any further It’s easy to sit here and say, ‘I did it, it was all my fault; I aenesis is Steven’s baby as much as it is mine Maybe more, by this point, at least where the commercial models are concerned"