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"The young man has a lot on his plate" She’d squeezed uy I knew in irl for years and she’d died unexpectedly over summer break I think it was a heart issue" Mo ? Decades? I still see him every so often and he’s never -­term relationship And Jasewell, he had a child with this girl It’s eventhat really didn’t make me feel any better Even if Jase didn’t want ain and to have a life that he shared with someone I didn’t want to think of hianyone close

Jase deserved better than that, because deep down, he was a good guy as justo to sleep early the Sunday we returned, but it was like every night recently I’d only be asleep for a few hours before I’d start to dreahts I drea in the dorain and instead of Erik yelling at rave

And other ti me that he’d always be there for me Those dreams weren’t bad until I woke up and realized that that’s what they were Just dreae house and I’d call out his nah doors and I could never catch hi like I hadn’t slept at all and I went through the sehI’d had a crap ton of free ti while I was alone in the apart had reat, because this was my future Maybe not the one I’d planned, but the one I needed to accept And teaching wouldn’t be bad I’d enjoy it So passingdeal

My muscles tensed as Calla and I entered music and took our seats Her cheeks were ruddy froether, she huddled down in her seat

"I can’t deal with this cold," she said, shivering "When I finish college, I a you couldn’t deal with the heat" I pulled out a pen, ready to be done with this class Like for real "You should probably find a place that has the same kind of lukewarm teood idea Now just finding a place like that What about you?"

Graduation was so far off I couldn’t even think about it I shrugged "Probably stay around here, I guess"

She sighed as she reached over, tugging on the hem of my hoodie It was then when I realized I’d worn the same Old Navy hoodie the last three days Wait Did I even shower this ? I didn’t think so I did brush my hair before I pulled it up in a ht?" she asked, like she’d been asking for the last teeks "We can get a bunch of junk food--­make a run to Sheetz You know my love of their nachos"

I started to tell her no, but stopped myself I needed to pull my head out of my ass At least for a few hours "Okay, but can you pick ht"

"Of course!" A wide s s underage drinking Or I can get soet you so drunk you don’t" She trailed off, lips thinning

"You’re gonna take advantage of hed But then I felt eyes on s

Jase stood at the end of the aisle, dressed in a hoodie and worn jeans He had that daan on, the one I loved socrazy, like stash it underI only had insanity-­sauce thoughts and didn’t actually act on the hi hard Even before we got together it had been bad, but it was sowhat it was like to be in his arainstto reconcile his kindness, good humor, and protectiveness with this Jase--­the saot that he had baggage, but I wouldn’t have run fro with it I would’ve helped him once I wrapped my head around it all I would’ve loved hiers and rolled onto ht He looked like he wanted to say soine what it would be since he’d been avoiding me like I was a bad case of herpes

"Tess," he said My entire body tensed at the sound of his deep voice, and I closedhi up in my eyes to dry when I reopened them It hurt, because the boythe boy broke oing mama bear all over his ass

And he must’ve sensed it too, because his thundercloud-­colored eyes shifted to her and then back to me Whatever he was about to say was lost to the forever and never going to happen He gave his head a quick shake and then pivoted on his heel and walked several ron, taking a seat

My gaze was fixed on the back of his head, on the way the ends of his hair curled up over the edges of the toboggan

"Forget hiet hiuy that doesn’t bail on you and ignore you for weeks"

"I know," I whispered, studying the back of his head, easily recalling what it felt like to let his hair sift through ers "Doesn’t , because what I said was the truth

Heart heavy and chest aching so badly I wanted to just throw myself down and cry under the chairs, I turned my attention to my music final, determined not to fail because of Jase

And to not shed another tear because of him

After my last final, I trekked over to West Woods Since I wasn’t planning on hanging around in Ca winter break all byhome to mommy and daddy like a total loser--­there were still a few things I needed to get out ofin Cah Caet a jobbie job and contribute so to the rent And a job would help keepable to dance, Deb’s death and Erik, and now Jase, I needed so to focus on bad until my brain and heart moved on

That didn’t seem like it would happen anytime soon

Cold wind chilled my cheeks, and the scent of snoas in the air as I crossed the lawn leading up to the dorms My knee ached a little by the time I reached the lobby of Yost With most kids already on their way home, the main room was pretty quiet with the exception of a few ­people lounging on the couches

Digging out the key card fronore the tightness between my shoulder blades I hadn’t been back to the doro in our rooet my stuff out and Cam would be over in an hour to load up his truck