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I don’t say a word, but I’m not afraid I don’t know for sure if he would kill me or not, but I don’t fear hiainstdown the center of s and the knowledge of the gun being anywhere on o," I whisper, unable to see his eyes, "then letfroun is pressing into my stomach now

"I’ve never been with a man that I wanted to be with," I say "I want to be with you Just once I want to knohat it feels like to be the one in control"

He’s conflicted, I feel it in the heat e from his skin, in his tense, uncertain ut and I feel like my hair is about to corip just a little, allowingup at h I know he’s not doing it on purpose

"You can’t be in here," he says, also in a whisper

I feel his eyes onover hs are latched loosely around his hips

"I don’t care, Victor"

His gaze moves back to my face where he studies the curvature ofelse flash over his eyes, so that I’ve never seen before in hirasp He studies ed and then ultiht where I am, trapped in theme he raises his back from the bed, the arm hich his hand is speared painfully within ainst hs touching his sides which warm my skin in the same way I pictured it I can tell that he is completely nakd underneath that thin sheet that separates us

"If you want to kill me, then do it"

His lips move closer to mine

"But if you do," I say breathily, "let me be with you first, please…"

My eyes close of their own accord I wait for whatever is going to happen; death or sex I welco so fast I feel it in ainst ainst ain

"This can’t happen, Sarai," he says

I lower my lips to his "Yes, it can," I whisper onto thehten around his waist and I feel h my pelvis and down into my knees I liftthe stark difference the sheethis hardness through the fabric of my panties and it makes me tremble

But I can tell he doesn’t want this He doesn’t push me away, but he’s conflicted

"Please, letdown into his beautiful eyes

He searchesh this exchange between us is so entirely new to him I can tell that he’s probably never been with a woe and spoil and taht now in this moment I want to be the one who makes all of the decisions

I’m unsure why, but that doesn’t matter

I feel his body relent even ainst his rock-hard chest and push hi that he’ll lethis hands to rest on the tops of hs We look at each other and no words are spoken They aren’t needed Tucking er behind the elastic ofat a ti hi I lay forward, wanting all of hiainstI kiss hi withinto the back of th ofhis hps toward me He wants the control so bad, but I reainst hiives back the control, I peck hihtly upon the lips and then both sides of his jawline

He watchesto taste thery

I’irl lost at fourteen-years-old, forced to live a life of bondage and pain and broken dreah o-round and it’s spinning so fast, all of the faces of Javier coet my hands on just one so that I can beat it to death And I just cry harder, screa, Victor has beco ain on the chest and on his arms and he doesn’t stop me Because I know only he can understand why I need this ht, I let it all out Tears barrel froulfs me in his arms I can’t catch my breath as I sob into the crook of his neck

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT