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He continues to listen, his face shadowed more and more by pain and rejection And it kills me inside to see it

"I went to Budapest to er look at reed that you should be eliminated even if only as a precaution, to prevent the inevitable I was given the order to carry it out"

Niklas’ head snaps around

I o on, "did not know that ere brothers and being his Number One, he knew I could carry out the job also because ere so close, you as my liaison Father wanted me to be the one to kill you because he felt it would be the honorable thing, that if anyone should take your life it should be me because we are fae"

Niklas can hardly get his thoughts together He can barely speak, but finally es and when he does, it hurts my heart as much as his expression continues to do

"Father wanted you to kill ently

He starts to pace the floor and then brings his hands up to the top of his head, pushing thehly over his hair He looks across at me, his eyes brimmed with tears I have never once in our lives seen my brother cry Never Not even ere children, or when hisrit my teeth so hard that I feel the pressure in ht face, as e

"Then why didn’t you?" he lashes out "Why am I still alive? Tell me that, Victor" The first of his tears streams down one cheek and he reaches up instinctively to wipe it away, angry at it for betraying him "You should’ve killed me!"

"I refused," I say "You were the one job I could not carry out, Niklas And so then Father had only one thing left to do: he was going to do it hiidly, more hurt by this truth than the truth before it Another tear escapes from his eye, but this time he doesn’t have the mind to wipe it away

"I killed him," I finally say "Father told me that I would have to because it was the only way he wouldn’t finish the job So I shot him where he stood"

He can’t look atto choose which emotions to feel and which ones to reject: his hurt for what our father did, or his love for his brother, because both are too ut’s Number One, I convinced him to spare your life and ed, paranoid, and that hy I had to kill hiut that you were trustworthy and that I wanted a chance to prove that to him and the rest of the Order I vowed to take full responsibility for you--"

"Full re--," he glares at odda I have done since I was seven-years old, I’ve done for the Order I am the one of us who always did as I was told, who never questioned Vonnegut’s orders, who has never given him or anyone else reason to question me!" He clenches his hands into fists at his sides "I have strived to become like you, Victor, to be respected and trusted and showered with the saut has showered you with since before you were pro to warrant--"

"You’ve been lying to Vonnegut for ainst ut’s trustworthy soldier, his liaison waiting to be pro to him whenever I asked you to"

"Is that what this is about?!" He points upward and then drops his hand aggressively back at his side "Have you been testing ! Isn’t it?!"

"No," I say "I would never use you like that, Niklas I killed our father to save your life Why would I then risk your life by setting you up?"

He has no answer He just stares atwhat to do with any of it He collapses back into the chair, his legs splayed out into the floor, his upper-body slouched forward resting his forehead in his hand

"Why are you tellinghis eyes back toto be the day you turnedand say to yourself: ‘Today I think I’llbetter to do’?"

"I felt I owed it to you," I say "You should know the truth before you die"

He looks faintly stunned, as if trying to figure out if he heard ht

His hand drops away froainst the chair

"What do you ht to it, "I know you told Javier Ruiz where I hid the girl Where I ith the girl"

His eyes wrinkle with confusion

"What are you talking about?"

I walk a couple steps tothere My gun is hidden safely in the back of my pants

"When you called me while I was on my way back to Tucson, you said that the time of Javier’s last knohereabouts was at three-twelve in the afternoon" I cck ive inning to find his ability to act ave him credit for

He thinks about the question for a moment "I called you as soon as I found out et that kind of inforht when it occurs"

"Maybe so," I say "But you and Samantha were the only two people who knehere I was and where I planned to leave the girl"

He points at me, his expression twisted with disbelief "But you told irl told you that Saot a call…"