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Chapter One

Fear yanks ht in a rooital alarht My breath co The last reainst h to fill me with terror, and yet so insubstantial that it evaporates like htened me I only know that I am alone, and that I a ers brush the cool, expensive sheets, I know that he is not there

I ain, I have awakened alone

At least now I know the source of the nightht for weeks The fear I try to hide beneath a plastic smile as I sit beside Dao over his defense in meticulous detail As they explain the procedural ins-and-outs of ahiht into the dark corners of his childhood because they know, as I do, that those secrets are his salvation

But Daainst this pervasive fear that I will lose him That he will be taken fro the dae that there isn’t a godda except wait and watch and hope

But I do not like waiting, and I have never put my faith in hope It is a cousin of fate, and both are too mercurial for my taste What I crave is action, but the only one who can act is Damien, and he has steadfastly refused

And that, I think, is the worst cut of all Because while I understand the reason for his silence, I can’t quell the selfish spark of anger Because at the core of it all, it’s not just hi It’sout of tiin only a few hours froes his mind about his defense, it is very likely that I will lose thisthe tears to reer is like a living thing, and I am afraid that it will explode no matter how hard I try to quell it For thatit will make the ultimate explosion all the h, Da that he was protecting --and I’d flown all the way to Germany to tell him so I’ve been here for over three weeks now, and there has not been a day when I have regretted co, and I do not doubt that what he said when I arrived on his doorstep is true--he loves e doesn’t soothe the sense of foreboding that has been rising within ht when I wake alone and know that he has turned to solitude and Scotch when I want him in my arms He lovessteps, but in little ones

Well, screw that

I peel myself away from the cool comfort of our bed and stand up I’m naked, and I bend to retrieve the white, lush robe provided by the Hotel Kempinski Damien brushed it back off ht, and I left it where it fell, a soft pile of cotton beside the bed

The sash is a different story, and I have to dig in the rumpled sheets to find it Sex with Damien is always intense, but as the trial comes closer, it has been wilder,me Damien can control the outcome

Idly, I rub my wrists They bear no marks, but that is only because Damien is careful I can’t say the sales froainst e that he needs ive myself to him

I find the sash shoved down near the foot of the bed Last night, it had bound my wrists behind ht, relishing the luxurious co so violently The roo, every detail done to perfection Every piece of wood polished, every tiny knickknack and artistic addition thoughtfully arranged Right noever, I am oblivious to the room’s charms I only want to find Da area and a stunning bathrooh I do not expect to find hie and also well-appointed with co and a round worktable that is now covered with sheaths of papers and folders representing both the business that Da around our ears, and the various legal documents that his attorney, Charles Maynard, has ordered Damien to study

I let the robe drop where I stand and pull on the stunning trompe l’oeil patterned sheath that Da it offreality by shopping on Munich’s famous Maximilianstrasse, and I have acquired so many shoes and dresses I could open h my hair as I cross the rooo into the bathroom to primp and freshen thethan it sounds; the o out unfinished has been beaten into my head since birth But with Damien at my side I have thuht now I a fresh lipstick

I pick up the receiver and dial zero Almost immediately there is an accented voice on the other end "Good evening, Ms Fairchild"

"He’s in the bar?" I do not need to explain who "he" is

"He is Shall I have a phone brought to his table?"

"No, that’s all right I’ll co else I can do for you?"

"No, thank you" I’ "Wait!" I catch hile his help with e of the building and the elegance of the interior, the hotel boasts a modern ambiance, and I have come to feel at home within these walls I wait impatiently for the elevator, and then even more impatiently once I’m in the car The descent seems to take forever, and when the doors finally open to reveal the opulent lobby, I ailish style bar