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She went so stil she stopped breathing--stopped for far longer than a living girl could have Then she said, "Why are you tel ingShe had to be doing that on purpose

Varis’s heart pounded He wondered why Cerix had kil ed her: a real plot she had been part of, a plot she had been pretending to take part in, or just because she had taunted hiht, rather than stay here and see hi to meet me in my chambers The ould be bet er, and we could enjoy it in private"

"The wine is te," Clarisse said "But I do want to dance"

"So wil Cerix"

Her eyes went hard, and for ato at ack him Instead, she smiled "I can stay away from him I have excel ent self-control But after the first few dances, I would enjoy soertips across her lips

Varis bowed again, and when he straightened she was gone

Chapter Fifteen

Cal ie, watching her brother walk out of the makeshift theater, didn’t realize Jano was behind her until he tapped her shoulder She turned, then went stil when she saho it was They stared at each other in silence for several reen overcoat, ruf led sleeves, and a high pleated col ar--like a child playing dress-up

"Wel ," Jano said final y "It seeot to mention to me"

So Clarisse had told hi to say Final y she whispered, "I’enuine curiosity

"For not tel ing you It’s notit’s not that I didn’t want you to know I just didn’t want to say it out loud"

"It wil get bet er, you know" Jano gestured to a passing serving girl, snatched two pastries of her tray, and of ered one to Cal ie "You’l learn to pretend We do it so wel , here in this castle We busy ourselves with parties and hunts so we have no ti e are"

He was sry; a hot anger that dried out the tears She took the pastry fro with spicy sweetness Even though she was dead and shouldn’t be able to taste anything

"Are the living so dif erent?" she asked

"No" Jano popped a pastry into his h trickled fro don’t have to justify being here They belong here"

"So do we," Cal ie said defiantly, after she had sed "There’s nothing wrong with being a ghost" She had never said it before, and the words felt wrong leaving her mouth She didn’t believe thehed "Oh, you have been here awhile, haven’t you? Long enough to believe what they al spend so " He wiped his mouth with his sleeve "Let me tel you what you wil know, Cal ie, when you’ve been dead for hundreds of years Dead is dead Every second that you’re dead, every second that you know it, you die al over again Watching your life escape frorasp, over and over and over Parties and banquets wil only distract you for so long before you have no choice but to face it And that’s when you go mad"

"Which, apparently, you have," Cal ie snapped

He laughed even longer this tio mad, Cal ie, you’l knoon’t be able to hold onto this human for, when I hate theain I’l disappear, but I won’t be at peace, I won’t be at rest, I won’t be free I wil be hiding beneath the earth, with the other ghosts, dying again and again and again" He stepped so close she could feel his breath on her face; except of course he didn’t have to breathe, so he was doing that on purpose "That’s where the spel is, chaining us here no o That’s where I’l be, close to the spel , clinging to my chains because they’re al I have left"

By the ti, she was yards away froainst a round table She dropped the rest of the pastry to the floor He didn’t aze "Did I ever tel you how I died, Cal ie?"

Mute, she shook her head

"My mother did it"

"Your--"

"I fel of a horse, and the wound got infected The doctors told her it was too late to save mebut she didn’t want to lose me So she kil ed me"

Cal ie tried to step even farther back, and the pastry crunched under her foot "Butif she was the one who kil ed you, and you knew it, then didn’t you want to"

"Yes"

So e of pity She said, very quietly, "Did you refrain for her sake, or for yours?"

"For hers" Jano watched another servant go by with a tray of fruit, then turned back to her "I never asked her to host But I was al she had And then when she died, one"

"I’m sor--"

"I should have realized it sooner," Jano said "I could have had htly to the il usion that I loved her This is what death is: not having to love anyone" He grilad to be dead More than anything, she wanted to be free of the people she once loved And the living are never free"