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"But I can’t fly," he said "I’m not you Hu in her eyes, though she didn’t knohy "You could be freer than this"
"I could" He peeled the handkerchief off his shoulder "But at what cost? I can’t sacrifice Saine I’, Isabel Especially with you at my side"
She er and picked it up, s steel and blood "I’ll find out who threw this," she said "Have a healer bind your shoulder"
She left without waiting for his reply Even if she hadn’t known the truth, that would still have been a less piece of politeness The shoulder wound was minor, not worth her concern She was the Shifter, and painto her at all
It should have been harder than it was
Isabel thought so every night, even though the days were hard enough She sat in on Rokan’s audiences, she attended banquets and dances, she rode by his side when he ventured into the city, and she spoke privately with hi about what she had learned that day Every tiave her one of his open, trusting sh to cause real pain, just enough to make sure she was never co to betray hi the dukes, he mentioned Daria, and bewildered abandon to think about me And went on with the conversation
It bothered her that she felt it, even though she had al about what the Shifter should or should not feel But there was only guilt No fear, no difficulty, no strain in keeping the secret She didn’t bother to worry about whether Rokan suspected, because she knew he didn’t She was very, very good and it was very, very easy for her
She half-believed her own charade and didn’t spend enough ti about it to let herself realize how ridiculous that was She spent her tih she knehere the assassin was, spying on the arriving guests even though the danger had not been invited, h none of it was the slightest bit ihters She gathered hints and clues about what she already knew, as assiduously as she would have if she didn’t know it yet
It all ell until the night before the coronation, when Rokan tried on his new robe and practiced walking down to his throne one final tione to bed in a fine fury, snapping that she couldn’t wait for the whole thing to be over--Oh, yes you can, Isabel thought, but without really hearing her thoughts--and Will had ripped his own robe and was having it repaired Isabel stood on the longRokan as he sat on the throne His head was high, the cere in neat folds from his shoulders to his ankles Even without the crown, he looked like he belonged there, like he had been born to co up at the canopy stretched over his head
"I’m afraid," he said, and Isabel raised startled eyes to his She already kneas afraid, but she also kneas so he had never admitted aloud "There’s a part of "
At that moment some barrier snapped, and Isabel knew--really knew--that he was right He was never going to be king He was going to die to into her palile expression in his eyes, so she shifted her voice steady and said, "You don’t have to be afraid while I’ off three near-successful assassination atte Sos make decisions and people die I used to watch my father make those decisions and wonder how he could seem so calm But he really was calm He didn’t care"
"But you do" Isabel brushed a ard strand of golden hair away froazed back up at the canopy "I know And what if because of that I can’t make those decisions? Because they have to be s, and weak kings are bad kings What if I’ot to his feet, his eyes black as ht, fierce and intent "Does the Shifter help the king with such matters, even when his life is not at stake? With affairs of state, and alliances, and wars?"
This conversation was laughable, if one kneas going to happen to And she didn’t know the answer to his question But it didn’t make a difference, so…"Yes," she said
Rokan’s face didn’t change, but his shoulders relaxed "That will be good That will help You--you can be ruthless"
Yes, I can be, Isabel thought And decided to say it aloud without the bitter tinge "Yes I can be"
"Good," Rokan said, and then more firmly, "Good I’ll need you, Isabel Even after we find out who the assassin is"
"I know," Isabel said, hating herself "I’ll be there whenever you needeasier" He smiled at her then, a wide, brilliant, unrestrained smile She had seen that smile twice before--in the Mistwood, when he had first come for her, and outside the city when they watched the hawk fly It lit up his face The urge to answer it was nearly irresistible It would have been irresistible had she been huht line
Rokan leaned forward "You won’t go back to the Mistwood, then? I’ll need your help for as long as I reign" He hesitated, gathering his courage "And…and I would miss you, if you left me"
Spirits What she saw in his eyes noas not a co else entirely A hope
Letting him believe what he wanted to believe was the best and easiest way to fool him But Isabel couldn’t do it, even if it would allow her betrayal to succeed beyond allthe bracelet slide down along her wrist, tinkling faintly