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The second reason is frohtly conversations or occasional outings, I’m in deep shit

And the third is jealousy Plain and siirl has been down every weekend since Thanksgiving I’d hoped she wouldn’t work out, even though I know she’s perfect for Chase But I couldn’t help hoping anyway

I react as theyMy heart slaainst aze before I have tihten aroundcrazy inside my chest because I don’t knohat he’ll do, but I’ end of whatever move he makes

It’s not just Chase that Loden has this reaction to He doesn’t like uy, but it’s alorse with Chase I think it’s because he knows Nofor Chase Even if I don’t knohat that so is, he knows it exists And he hates it

Just as quickly as I had the insane thought that this relationship could possibly have a future outside of pain, it’s gone, replaced with panic And now I’ myself for my stupidity Why didn’t I ask to stay in? Why didn’t I ask to leave earlier? We were having a nice night Why didn’t I cut out while it was still going well? Because I wanted to enjoy this rare feeling? Stupid So stupid

If we leave now, I’ll just have to deal with Loden’s accusations If we stay, I risk the chance of secrets co out And then it will be so much worse I can’t breathe I close my eyes as the music fillssmothered I don’t think I can do this anymore I’o to sleep, and never wake up

"Annie, hey" My eyes pop openHeaven’s She looks up at Loden and smiles "Hi You must be the boyfriend I’ve heard so much about"

I didn’t reallyshe heard didn’t come from me, but neither of us mentions that to hiirlfriend"

Loden’s body relaxes visibly Mine soirlfriend? I take a step back, trying to hide ht to it, but I feel an overwhel sense of loss Of what? I don’t know But it consu, always on the outside Always alone Nothing more than darkness

26

FOD

Chase

I squeeze between a couple of girls dancing and coister Did she call herselfto it as "casually dating" There’s a difference, right? Like co anyone else, either, but that doesn’t s with Kayla Heaven hasn’t been around long enough to be considered aze flicks to Annie She doesn’t look at rabs my shoulder and it takes every ounce of self-control to not shove hiiven hio, but I haven’t And it’s not like he can’t tell I don’t like him I don’t talk to hi his practices I can’t stand this dude and he knows it

"Hey, man," he slurs "I haven’t seen you around in awhile"

Ex-fucking-actly, asshole

"I’ve been busy," I state as I take a step back out of his reach

"Doing what?" Loden presses "Not swi I haven’t seen you at the pool in months"

And then he chuckles as he puts his arestures at Heaven "Never et it If I had that I’d never leave my room either"

What The Fuck I don’t knoho I should be more pissed about Heaven, for the way he not only assu she is to just a piece of ass Or Annie, for insinuating that she somehow doesn’t equal Heaven’s beauty For whatever reason, she’s his girlfriend and she should never have to listen to him say shit like that On top of all that, all I can think about is how lucky this bastard is and he doesn’t even realize it

He doesn’t deserve her Not even close

Heaven glances fron inthat’s not completely shitty to respond with Not to spare him Fuck him But I don’t want to make Annie feel any worse So I try to think of a feords I can string together to brush his du

"Maybe you should spendabout me," I reply

"What’s that supposed toto stand taller The gesture doesn’t , the way he sways makes him look pathetic

"Which part didn’t you understand? I’ll say it again, slower this tihtly, ready to thoroughly explain exactly whather head out of the corner of ht anyway If Annie’s okay with being treated like dog shit on the bottom of Loden’s shoe, who a, uiding her forward "You say and do whatever the hell you want But I don’t have to stick around for it" As soon as my back is to him, I realize I shouldn’t have left Annie with him by herself What if he has a repeat of the last party we ran into each other at?

I start to turn around when Heaven slips her hand inside ht word I don’t think weird covers it "What’s wrong with that guy?"

"He’s an asshole when he drinks," I explain "He’s kind of an asshole all the tiets some alcohol in him"