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As soon as she passes nant?"
Her shoulders jerk and she sighs "I think I ht be"
"But we’ve always used--"
"The shower," she whispers
Ah, the shower I alh The one and only time I don’t use a condo Why did I do that? How could I do that? I wanted her so badly that I didn’t think I didn’t care I just needed her and nothing elseon one knee "It’ll be okay," I say "We’ll do whatever you want Hell, we don’t even know yet"
She s sick and my period’s late I just…" She shakes her head and bites down on her lip "I’o from there" I stand up and offer heruntil I have a definitive answer in front of o to the thin plastic tube sitting on the counter
"Three minutes," Lucy says Her voice is shaky I want to comfort her, but I can’t I’She probably hates me I hateI’ll have ruined three lives because I couldn’t fucking bag it
I don’t kno to be a dad I’ll fuck it up
I fuck everything up
I need a cigarette so badly, but I won’t leave Lucy alone Damn it My chest hurts My stomach is knotted I can’t lose her The past couple weeks have been the best of my life It can’t end now
I look atcould change
I’ to be parents What about school? Hoe finish school? We have to finish Can’t get a good job without school Can’t raise a kid without a good job
Maybe she doesn’t want to keep it She’s adopted, maybe she’ll want to put it up for adoption Maybe she’ll want an abortion
I bite my thumb nail as I watch her She’s perched on the side of the bathtub, her eyes refusing to move anywhere near the counter where our future sits
A kid
There could be a kid--ht now It could have her eyes and her lips Her voice and her sweet personality
Would that really be so bad?
But it’d have a part of ood Even if it were to be like her, I’d probably do soain, tapping my foot I stare at the numbers "It’s time," I choke out
Lucy’s chest rises as she takes a deep breath, but she doesn’t move in any other way "What’s it say?"
Fuck She wants me to look?
I step in front of the counter and pick up the box I want to read the directions one ative
I set the box down and pick up the test
And I just stare at it, trying to grasp one of the eh me
"What’s it say?" she asks, her voice low
I blink Check the box onehand, I hold it out to her
I’ to be a mom I knew it, but I couldn’t believe it My hand autooes to my stomach There’s a person inside of me A teeny, tiny, little person
I hope he looks like Park I hope he has his eyes and his hair
Oh, nant
I stare at the test as if it will change if I keep looking
"Okay," I sta you expected--or wanted to happen" I take a deep breath, my eyes still focused on the s of you You don’t have to be involved"
"What?" Park croaks "What are you saying?"
"It takes a lot of co the test Maybe I should take another one This could be faulty
"So you want to keep it?"
Park’s words hit me and I lift my head to read the expression on his face, but it’s indecipherable "I want to keep the baby," I confirm