Page 21 (1/2)

I turn to Adam and his nose bumps mine I can feel the heat of his breath on et about the question he just asked I want to kiss him to burn theeverything is going to change after tonight

"Can we talk about it after the show?" I ask, and my stomach clenches as I realize this is not a stall tactic I’

He nods then plants a soft kiss on lass of water down on the bar and throw my arms around his neck I need to feel his warmth He wraps his arms around my waist and chuckles in my ear

The crowd behindto see if I let go of Adarip on his neck as ," he says, his voice strained frorip and he se I close my eyes as I turn around

You can do this Just open your eyes and get it over with

I slowly open my eyes and there he is

Chapter Nineteen

Relentless Music

THE BLUE SPOTLIGHTS CAST A e as Chris positions himself on his stool in front of the o It’s Jake I turn to the guy holding the bass guitar on Chris’s right and I see Tristan Jake and Tristan are Chris’s old band o solo last year It seee they’ve been carrying to play this gig

Chris finally looks up frouitar and my heart flutters He looks exactly the sao The sahtly at the corners, giving hi look; the same full lips I’ve kissed a , but I can see the light glinting off a new lip piercing He’s even wearing a ratty black UNC hoodie he e were together I don’t knohy I expected hi his h I did read the Rolling Stone article only because it was in the employee restroo a bit lance around the rooy in the air shifting, as if everybody in this roo for those first few notes The ticking sound of Jake’s dru the rie

Finally, Chris brings his lips to thevoice with just a hint of a rasp "What’s up, Raleigh?"

The crowd cheers and some people shout back, "What’s up, Chris?"

I feel as if I’ room floor for the first time when he played In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel Chris was always light-years ahead of his band mates--an old soul He loved classic rock and blues He reatest hits over and over until I could na the first few notes He was obsessed with music and that obsession made his dreams a reality

A tear slides down ht decision breaking up with Chris If he had stayed in Raleigh, none of this would have been possible

The first notes of the song play and it’s an up-te is not about h I know it shouldn’t ine it’s about a real person

Adam slips his arms around my waist and I smile as I lean my back into his chest He kisses the top of es and I hear the first few notes of "Sleepyhead" I clench ether and take a deep breath If I can h the rest of the night Ada," Adam says in my ear, and I can barely hear him over the music

"I’m fine!" I yell, but I don’t turn

I do still miss Chris This is why I never watch MTV or listen to the radio It’s why I deleted all his songs fro that re dust in Senia’s parents’ garage I miss him Every day

I close my eyes and take another deep breath as he belts the chorus with so irls are in love with him

Adam leans down and presses his lips to ave me when you rejected my offer to take you on a date?"

I think about the day he al away froo I told hi in late

It dawns onof that day

I turn around and face hi and listen to Adam say this all at the same time Ada He knows soure it out I force a suzzle down the rest ofends I let out a deep sigh as I turn around again

The rest of the set is cos I don’t think were inspired by ood about h the entire concert until the last song starts

I’ve never heard the title track of Chris’s albule hasn’t been released yet, but as soon as I hear the first few lines, I know it’s about us

"We kissed under the trees, and talked about s I wish I could have held you in; held in the heat of your breath; held onto you and I at our best"

I do the one thing I think can save me from this moment I spin around, pull Adary kiss, but a slow, sensual kiss The kind of kiss thatdisappear All I can feel is the curve of his mouth as it fits into mine All I can smell is the faint hint of beer on his lips All I can taste is the slightly sweet alcohol on his tongue

"Having fun?" Joanie shouts

"Ouch!" Adaue