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Misery churns in nore it I ht now and I’rets or s to do
With that thought in mind, I suck his lower lip between roan that seems to come from the very heart of him This tiue along his, once, twice, then again and again as I absorb the sweet ain, even as he wraps his ar hands into the center of h , about ceding control, as I always do to hiasps for air, and I know that I’ up the power I have over this man Not now Not yet
I entle Instead, I grind et deeper To take more To reach the very depths of hi on ainst hie but definitely hard enough to let hiroans and e
I plunge ue, the insides of his cheeks I want to experience all of hi I can about this man who is still a mystery to me in nearly every way that counts
I keep expecting him to take control, to roll me under him and bend me to his will He can do it easily--I’m so desperate for the taste and touch of hiing his hands into my hair to keep me close, he seems content to let me set the pace
The freedo my mouth on his, I shove at his shoulders until he leans back on his elbows in the sand I start to scramble on top of him, but he jerks away before I can straddle him The unexpectedness of itIt’s been years since I’vethis blatantly sexual, and I don’t have a clue what I’
Convinced I’ve ain, I scoot a few feet away fro, but what a to juhtAfter all, I’m the one who practically attacked him
But before I can for--and not in a you’re-an-idiot kind of way No, his sood on hiet my embarrassment for a moment and simply stare
How can I, when he’s just so damn beautiful? Too beautiful, really, for words or for ger fool of myself But I can’t I’ at me as by his actual looks
His eyes are a dark and storm-tossed blue that seem to see to the very heart of me, while his dark hair is wild and windblown froh, if I’ers are at least as responsible for the disarray as the gentle breeze currently winding itself around us
His cheekbones are high and sharp, his lips pink and swollen frorin widens and his tiny little diel face of his--it takes every ounce of willpower I have not to lean forward and pick up back where we left off only aze away from his too-perfect face, I notice for the first tiet away fro the exact opposite I watch in awe as he pulls his ary, uncomfortable material down his chest and over his chiseled abs
It’s the first time I’ve seen him in person without a shirt on, and I realize Ihi a six-pack under his dress shirts and suits No, theI didn’t even think was possible outside of ers clench with the need to touch hie in a si but his abs and ets the job done Already I can feel drool pooling inat the suit, rolling it past his hips and down his legs before kicking it off coht board shorts that make it exceptionally obvious that he has an erection
He reaches foraround my upper arms, and I feel a frisson of alarm as he turnsany man behind me, not even him--it makes me feel vulnerable--but my fear dissipates as he presses soft kisses to the nape of my neck
"Your turn," he ainstout in wetsuits is not what I would call advisable"
Then he’s pulling downet mine off than his, because he presses his lips to each part of my body as it is revealed to him My shoulders, my shoulder blades, my upper arms, the curve of my elbow, my ribs I try to stand perfectly still, but I can’t help the sh me as he wraps his arms around me Clasps his hands on my bare stomach Trails soft, sweet kisses down my spine
He licks under the strap of asp, arch against him as his thuhs a little, a breathless sound of delight that only asp between broken breaths as he gently squeezes er until I feel like I’" He drops to his knees, runs his tongue all the way down to the dimples at the base ofinsidethe wetsuit down s
"What--what is it then?"
"Pleasure" He nips gently at h ue with that, not whensensations He keeps kissingme, anywhere, everywhere, until the last remnants of uneasiness slowly slip away and all that’s left is desire Need
Ethan seems to know instinctively when my apprehension disappears, because his touch becoe of htly over the curve ofaround to the front
I gasp at the first glide of his fingers over my sex, stiffen despite myself In ivenso But I can’t help it--the position is freaking ht with Brandon when he forcedtrouble separating the past from the present
Memories swa Can’t help panicking I try to ignore them, to push past theentle Ethan who has never been anything but kind toto hurt me But it’s too late Brandon’s already in h me It turns my desire to panic, my need to desperation
I try to force the words through ht throat No Stop Don’t But all that comes out is a low, inarticulate sound that makes no sense to anyone, not even h me Five years have passed, five years filled with self-defense courses and counseling and learning how not to be a victiht back where I started Unable to enjoy the loveenerous man and unable to find the words to stop him, either
But Ethan isn’t Brandon, not in any way, and it turns out he doesn’t need words That one, desperate sound is enough to have hi his hands
"Baby? You okay?"