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I have this thing in the bag--Owen MacIntosh, Day 1, Endurance Island: Alaska

THREE DUGOUT CANOES SAT IN the id bay, surrounded by a dozen cameras (and cameramen) near the shore of the rocky Alaskan beach

On the shore, the host of Endurance Island, Chip Brubaker, waved a flag eo of the show "Welcome to the newest edition of Endurance Island," he called out to us as we huddled, six contestants to a canoe

I wasn’t sure if ere supposed to cheer at that A few scattered people clapped their hands

Chip glanced at a cue card, and then spoke again, reading a pro it on a sexy beach or frolicking in the sand Instead, they'll have to face off hungry bears and bitter cold and tons and tons of snow Stay tuned for this and more in this season's Endurance Island--Alaska!"

I kept waiting to hear cheers, but there was only silence and the occasional slap of waves against the wooden canoe sides My teeth chattered and I huddled in the front of the canoe, barely clutching the oar in my hands The icy mistin an inch of water that had slopped into the canoe In short, it icked freezing out here

This sucked

I was pretty sure when I'd signed up for Endurance Island, I hadn't signed up for the Alaska edition If I'd wanted to spendout ned up for sun and sand over the Christmas holidays

Instead, I'd gotten pine trees, Alaska, and way too much snow Who had I pissed off to deserve this?

Chip spoke again "When I give the word, the gah in the air, a clear signal to us

I felt our little canoe shake as people readied their oars

"The first tea a hot ht in Alaska The other two teams will receive matches - since we don't want you to freeze" Chip’s white teeth flashed in his face like an arreen and red wrapped present high into the air for us to see

Oh great Not only was this Endurance Island: Alaska, but I was apparently on the Christmas edition of the show Visions of elf costuh h I'd hated Christmas ever since my father had died three days prior to it when I enty-three Ever since then? Moiven a shit about Christmas, and neither had I As far as I was concerned, there was nothing to celebrate

But it was too late to bail on the show, and I wouldn't have anyhow I could endure so close to that uessed it was a Christh all of Deceht they'd ship us out to Bora Bora or souessed that this would be a different sort of edition of the shohen they'd informed me that the prize money was only one ht they'd gotten a bit cheap on us

But it all ether in nized it earlier The crew kept things so well concealed fros they'don until they'd plopped us into a dugout canoe atop so to shore, and handed us fluffy red parkas

That had been a big freaking hint

I was taking the whole ‘Christh She'd been weeping ever since they'd dropped an oar in her hands My guess was that she'd wanted to do a lot of sauntering around in skimpy bikinis

"Are you ready, teams?" Chip braced hi out to us

A cheer arose I looked down across the water and saohis oar above his head and screalad he wasn't onout over the water

Everyone tensed

"GO!"

Eighteen sets of oars plunged into the water The six people in our red tea with our efforts I hurried to geta bit I’d never rowed before I was a Boston girl, and I didn’t like the water in winter I stared at the shore, deteruy shouted, "Hey…hey! Up there in the front! Why don’t you actually try putting your oar in the da toway "What the fuck did he just say?" I bellowed

"Yeah, hey you Boston Princess," the guy said "Stick your damn o-ah in the wah-tah"

"Go fuck yourself," I told hiame for this shit I’d barely said tords to anyone, but apparently they were pronounced wrong Jerks

Scowling, I looked over atflipping deal I dug in,jackass as the water and constantly slappingdone that way

BY THE TIME WE LANDED on shore, ere in second place Not terrible, in my opinion, but not first place Some people on the teah As we all flopped down on the beach froht our breath

One bland looking guy raised his hand, giving us all a friendly look "This isn't the Hunger Gaht? I'm Gary from Ohio" He pointed at his jacket, which read GARY on the breast and across his back, since Endurance Island liked to clearly label us to make it easier for the audience to tell everyone apart

The sniffly redhead was sitting next to hieles"

"You a led at him and swatted at his arm "Flatterer!"

My eyes narrowed That didn't oing to play the flirty card

"I'm Patty," said another woman, and I immediately sussed her up Everyone on the show seeories, after all Looks, brains, or entertain to be entertainment She had a sweet face, a dainty build, a necklace that said "Nuodawful feathered mullet I'd ever seen since Billy Ray Cyrus

Next around the circle was another guy Ser "Kinda funny that your name is Patty," he said in a voice that seemed far more abrasive than should have couy "I'm Pat, too As in Patrick" And he pointed at the breast of his pocket Sure enough,had Pat and Patty