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God, I just want to be with her…but I can’t Not yet I need to ht

Just then, so on uy, who I assumed was Matthew, Ari’s little brother After Jeff and Gunner had toldto take hi today Jeff had said that Matt and I were pretty close, and I used to co out with Matt

I took a deep breath as I tried to reot out as Gunner placed Matt on the ground

"Josh! I’s and hugged me "I’ve missed you, Josh, you assmole!"

Did he just call lanced back up at Gunner and Jeff as I started laughing They were both shaking their heads and , No

No?

"Holy shit! Did he just try to call ot face-to-face with Matt

"Dude!" Gunner said

When I glanced back at hih when he swears

Oh shit, that’s right! Jeff warned ht! Sorry, but that was some funny shit Oh shit! Ah, motherfucker!" I stood up and covered my mouth

"I wanna be a mudderfuckin’ cowboy, Josh! Just like you and Gunner and Jeff!" Matt started running around "Oh shit! Ah,to be so pissed off at you," Jeff said

Gunner let out a laugh and shook ?"

I s while I’d watched hera pair of my boxer shorts--at least I hoped like hell they were mine--and one of ain Doesn’t hurt either that I have thewitharound "Shit…sorry, I forgot about the whole swearing thing Funny as hell little guy though I see e got along so well"

Jeff walked up and gently hitmore ti to get frustrated "No, nothing I feel soh I feel like I just need her so much, and it scares the fuck out of me I just want to be around her all the dao to sleep, thinking about her What the fuck is that?"

Gunner threw his head back and laughed "That, my friend, is called love!"

Love? I knew that I loved her before the accident Do I love her now? Is that what this is?

Jeff started laughing, too, as he shook his head "Don’t push it, Josh It’ll come back, dude, and you’ll remember exactly how head over heels in love you ith Heather"

I sure hoped they were both right I could see the pain in her eyes every day She would try to hide it, but I knew she wanted so much more from me I also knew the only reason she took a leave from her job was to keep Tori away as h

"What’s so funny?" Gunner asked as he walked over to his truck and started taking out his fishing gear

"It just blows my mind she would leave her job to stay withDo you think she asked Heather to stay with me? Or do you think it was Heather’s idea?" I asked as I helped Gunner put the poles in the back of my new truck

Gunner stopped, looked at me, and s to Ellie, Heather did it to keep Victoria at bay"

No fucking way I was right

"Well, fuck

Gunner put his hand on h water before you finally got together That girl loves you with every ounce of her being She’s not going to give up on you She’s going to fight for the both of y’all I’ has her world turned upside down Just don’t string her along, Josh, and please don’t hurt her She’s been through enough as it is" Gunner looked away

"Soirl named Lynda called me the other day I asked ave me the lon of what she knew She basically told me to keep the fuck away from this chick She mentioned Lynda was your cousin"

Gunner headed back over toward his truck He called over his shoulder, "Your ain, don’t ever answer the phone" He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to facetell Heather you talked to Lynda Shit, poor girl already has one to tend with She doesn’t need to worry about two"

After getting everything loaded in ot in and headed out Matt was a hoot That kid had hed I loved that he knew all the words to Blake Shelton’s "Boy’s ’Round Here" We had to play it over and over for him I loved hiain Fuck I ed

I could hear Jeff and Matthew laughing in the backseat as we got closer to the lake I sood they both ith Matt Just then, I had the strangest feeling come over me

I want to have kids with Heather

"Holy fucking shit! What the hell?" I said without thinking

"What the hell!" Matthew called out from the backseat

"Josh!" Jeff and Gunner said at the same time

I needed air When I saw a store, I pulled in I ju deep breaths

Gunner ca? Are you hurting anywhere? Can you not breathe, dude?"

"Matt, stay in the truck buddy, Jeff said

"Jesus H Christ, Josh, stop swearing in front of Matt Ari’s gonna chew h his hair, obviously frustrated

"Really, ht now, and that’s what you’re worried about?" I asked

Jeff shrugged his shoulder "Hey, I can’t help it if you don’t remember how Ari is about this kind of shit," he said with a shit-eating grin

Gunner punched Jeff in the ar?"