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I run a hand throughAnd I don’t have time for this Not now Mom needs me And I need Priscilla

"Don’t hold it in Let me be there for you, Jaden" The pain in her voice pulverizes my already shredded insides

And I want her there Want her there so ut ache More than that, I hat she’s saying I’ht now it doesn’t matter I just want someone to have ood like she said or when they needoff like this I know Mom wouldn’t do the same for me And that kills me But Priscilla? She would She wants to

"I can’t keep doing this I can’t keep getting hurt by trying to be there when you don’t want me I do it with my parents and I can’t do it with you, too"

She turns away froht now, she’d let me And she should I don’t want to hold it in I don’t want to do it alone Maybe itpussy in the world, but I want her there

"Come with me," I blurt out Funny, how I don’t even try to be s to suck and I hate that you have to see it, or hear however I screwed up this time, but--"

Slowly, she turns and when she looks at me Questions echo in my brain that I don’t have answers to That I don’t want to even think about right now Not hoill regret this or what she’ll see or hear I just "Come with me Please"

Priscilla calls Sebastian and Aspen while ait for a cab They apparently tried to give us so-out-and-he’ll-be-embarrassed-if-we’re-there’ Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, let

Then we get on the plane with tickets Priscilla bought while I’d been freaking out I make her pro to her My et ho what she’ll think of s up for her Wasn’t I supposed toshe was supposed to be coone to shit and it’s still rabs my hand

"Yep"

"Obviously," she ht only has one short layover The closer we get to ho--all jumpy and twitchy

We have to take a cab toback and forth between Priscilla and Mo to find when I get ho to think?

Does Mom hate me now?

Do I want Priscilla to see whatever we find there?

The answer to that one is obviously no "I was thinking Maybe you should head hoo I’m sure you don’t want to deal with this crap"

Her head drops back against the back of the seat "Do you not want me there or are you embarrassed? Or do you not think I want to be there?"

"Does it matter?" I scratch h "I don’t know, Priscilla I’ here"

"I know" Her head comes down on my shoulder I love that she’s like this with me now

"I think I need to do this alone Not because I don’t trust you, butI just think it’s best"

"That’s fine, Jay I get it Just don’t shut me out That’s all I want"

"I won’t You’re scary when you’re pissed"

She pops up and s! I meant hot You’re way too hot to piss off"

We both start to laugh Right as we pull up in ain

"I’m serious"

"I know I’ll call you tohteen

I seriously think there is so these strange feelings or thinking about stuff way swhat I notice? That makes no sense, but the second I step into the house, I feel like I don’t belong here

I was never really happy here I never felt like it was et into a foreign country without my passport I et kicked out at any moment

And for this particular vacation, it’s forced so I’et the boot

"Mike!" Mom’s voice calls out as I close the door "Mike, is that you?" She sounds frantic, her feet slapping against the hardwood floor as she runs round the corner She slides to a stop when she sees uess it’s not really a surprise since I told you I was on my way"

"Jaden" Her arms wrap around me and I find that I wanted it Maybe needed it a little bit I’ht now I don’t want to take the time to think about it Or the fact that I’ing me?

"Hey, Mom Are you okay?"

Her eyes are pink Like maybe they were red, but she cried so much the color bled out

She shakes her head and then her face is buried in er it lasts the rier I ahts keep popping up in my head and I try to process them all