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"Thatabout her from Jimmy"

One of his shoulders did a little lift "He shouldn’t have had to deal with her on his own Said he wanted to protectbrother isn’t a coto?" The sudden change in topic told me he didn’t want to talk about his fa "Sorry"

"The Saint Johns"

He nodded, flicking through to find the only song I had of theirs The stru my head He put the cell on his chest and his eyelids drifted down Aabout their head and their heart Throughout it, his face remained calm, relaxed I started to wonder if he’d fallen asleep But when the song finished he turned to look at me

"Nice A bit sad," he said

"You don’t think they’ll be together in the end?"

He, too, rolled onto his side There was no more than a hand’s width between us With a curious look, he handedyou like"

I scrolled through the screens, trying to decide what to play for hi they’d seen you today Your anonyhed "Bound to happen sooner or later They’ll just have to get used to ?" I tried to keep ht but it didn’t work

"No I’m really not" He looked atAll of my fears and dreams and the hopes I did my best to keep hidden, even from myself But I couldn’t hide from him if I tried "Okay?"

"Okay," I said

"You asked me if you were my attempt at nor with you, the way I feel about you, it does groundIt s better Makes me want to be better I can’t hide from shit or make excuses when it comes to you because that won’t work Neither of us is happy when things are that way and I want you to be happy …" His forehead furrowed and his dark brows drew tight "Do you understand?"

"I think so," I whispered, feeling so ht then I didn’t knohich as up

He yawned again, his jaw cracking "Sorry Fuck, I’m beat You mind if I close my eyes for five ?"

"On it"

I played hi song I could find I’d guess he fell asleep about halfway through His features relaxed and his breathing deepened Carefully, I pulled out the earbuds and put the cell away I switched on the bedside lamp and turned off the main one, shut the door so Lauren and Nate’s eventual return didn’t wake him Then I lay back down and just stared at hi The coers itch, but I didn’t want to wake him He obviously needed the sleep

When I woke up in the one Disappointht’s sleep I’d had in weeks, devoid of the usual tense and angsty dreams I seemed to specialize in of late When had he left? I rolled ontoloudly With a hand, I fished out a piece of paper It had obviously been torn froe was brief but beautiful

I’ Portland

CHAPTER TWENTY

I think I’d have preferred to find Genghis Khan staring back at me from across the café counter than Martha I don’t know -- a Mongol horde versus Martha, tough call Both were horrible in their own unique ways

The lunchti in for the afternoon with their lattes and friands It had been a busy day and Ruby had been distracted,up orders Not like her usual self at all I’d sat her at a corner table with a pot of tea for a while Then we’d gotten busy again When I’d asked rong she’d just waved me away Eventually, I’d corner her

And now here was Martha

"We need to talk," she said Her dark hair was tied back and her make-up minimal There was none of the LA flashiness to her now If anything, she seemed somber, subdued Still just a touch smarmy, but hey, this was Martha after all And what the hell was she doing here?