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I’d been fully expecting my mom to not haveher ht it was a joke and she wouldn’t actually have any No way did I expect her to have this rabbed the letter and broke the seal, and , the one I’d clung to when he died and my mom had taken froht break and just stared at it asback and tears instantly blurredontoit carefully, I took one last deep breath and looked down

My dear Cassidy Ann--

Where do I even begin? There aren’t words to begin to describe how sorry I a your life Nor are there words to tell you how much I hate myself for what I’ve done to you, as well as let Jeff do to you You are so precious, and I don’t kno I ever let et that Your father was o on, so I didn’t I was so weak, and neglected youyou were only a child! What’s worse is I can’t even re that time, which means I can’t re those ti to find any way to o away My friends helped keep me intoxicated since they didn’t knoas already in that state at home, so I paid attention to thembut you? Where was I when you needed me? I don’t even knohere you were What kind of irl is when she needs her theat you at the funeral and thinking about all the ti dad, and I just kneould never be able to look at you again without seeing hi that ca you

When Jeff caone, I just needed someone there with me; I didn’t care who it was Guess it helped that he was rich, since we both had an expensive habit, but he hated kids Toldhim at that, but what did I do? I married him teeks later And then I justbecame a monster I know you already know he’d rewardabout that now makes me sick to etting rewarded for beating you sounded like the ift Of course you already know all that, but I had to write it, had to put it out there And now that it is, I just want to die for al you thousands rief and guilt for what I’ve done to you!

I’ve been sober three months now; it may not seem like one longer than ten hours without drinking myself back to sleep In these threethat’s happened over the last thirteen years, and that’s why I’ this letter now You,What child, what adult even, stands back up without a tear co beaten down, just so the other parent can take their turn? We ruined you, we tried to break you, and gosh, sweet girl, I hope we didn’t You deserve the best of everything You deserve a husband who loves you, cherishes you, and treats you like the princess your father always said you were You deserve kids who love you, and give you laughs, tears, as well as moments that make you want to pull out your hair You deserve it all I’ve prayed to God every day for the last three et that, and that you’ll know you deserve that, and I will pray it until , I am not I can’t handle what I’ve done to you, and I can’t handle what Jeff’s begun doing to me now that I’h, but I still can’t take it I don’t kno to begin toup to you, actuallyI know there isn’t a way But I need to do this, for you and for iven the et started in life I left Jeff the house and car for a reason; I’ that as well If not, please read this next part carefully and try to understand I can’t live with this guilt, sweetheart, and I couldn’t die knowing Jeff would move on to do this to someone else But know this: I love you, I swear I do I’irl!

I’ve been spending a lot of ti at your wall Your father wasn’t the only one passionate about the phoenix Everything it syiven the chance to be reborn and start its life anew from its own asheswho can say that they’ve had that opportunity? Through these ashes, I pray you’re able to find peace, knowing that your nightive you a new life, but this is your chance to start your life however you want it to be, sweet Cassidy, without Jeff or I tainting it You’re beautiful, and you have a bright light that just bursts froht up a room; your father and I always said that, and it’s true Go shine your light on the world, sweet Cassidy

I’ll love you forever and always,

Mom

I read the letter two more times and finally folded it up, put it back in the envelope, and safely tucked it away in er see the words She’d killed herself Killed them For her? For me? She left the house and car to Jeff because she knew all three of those would be destroyed in the fire How did she do this without Jeff trying to get out? They’d been badly burned, but the coroner was certain their deaths were due to the sht to get out And she just lay there and let herself be burned alive? My entire body shivered with a sickening chill I didn’t understand how someone could be so miserable that they would want to end their life, and to willingly be burned alive? I couldn’t begin to coh my chest and I covered my face with both hands The , I had never expected to see or hear froh I hated her for what she did, I hated it even h it alone At least I’d had Tyler; my mom had no one

Another twenty minutes passed before I checked to make sure I didn’t look like a wreck and walked into the cozy coffee shop so I could allow et lost in a book Or at least attempt to look like I was I really just needed so to bother e

I was one person back in line when a so to ht and then to my left, my eyes skimmed across the unfamiliar faces in the shop As my eyes made their journey back to the front I saw a pair of uncertain pale blue eyes looking at me

I started "Oh my God, Detective Green?" I’d just seen hio, but he’d been in a suit and looked all badass and older then Now he just looked like a nor at hiled to remember how I knew his for his eyes and a pair of worn jeans that fit hiood My stoh it took so onme intently

He smiled crookedly "Unless you want me to call you Miss Jameson, you can call me Connor"

Connor Green Even his nah his hair,it stick up like he’d just rolled out of bed God, I needed to look anywhere else but at hiht now "Please, just Cassidyor soht" He chuckled "Cassidy it is Let me buy you a drink," he said as he set his cup on the counter and reached for his wallet in his back pocket

"Oh no, that’s not necessary" I gave the lady at the counter

"I want to, please" He handed the girl his card and she swiped it through the ave him an appreciative smile as she handed his card back to hi at her and mentally shook myself What the hell? Why do I care if someone else looks at him? He’s just an overly confident detective who I e to piss me offand make my heart flutter--nope! Nopejust piss h"

Connor took a sip of his coffee and sree to sit and talk with me for a while?" My face must have fallen because he said swiftly, "I swear, no type of interrogation, I would just really enjoy your company"

He’d been kind of an ass the last few times I’d seen him, so I wasn’t sure if I’d enjoy his, but I’d certainly enjoy the view I thought about Gage and griuy like this Especially this guy

"If you’re busy, I understand It’s probably aard to talk to the detective who just questioned you regarding your parents’ death anyway," he said quietly, and looked out the , then back to h and shake of his head

I twisted"Well, I was going to sit here for a while anyway I just got back fro on You can join me if you want" I tried to act like I didn’t care either way, but his crooked grin told uy behind the bar called rabbed it, Connor led us over to a pair of plush chairs that were facing, and al, each other