Page 34 (1/2)

He touchedoverShe always kept me safe Or tried to anyway She would leave me in a closet or bathroom I’d hide in the tub with my stuffed animal Purple Bear I had him forever" I smiled in memory "My father won hi but I still had that bear And Moh with some loser, she told me Purple Bear would keep me safe until she came for me"

I stopped now, because I couldn’t really talk about what happened next I’d never talked about it with anyone before

"But it didn’t keep you safe, did it?"

I shookdown a sob "No"

"What happened?"

My voice got really sers pressed over h"

"Who found you?"

I shook"Souy One of Mom’sdates"

"What did he do, Pepper?" His whisper was in direct contrast to his face, which was hard as stone, his eyes like ice chips

I rocked back a little on the bed, hugging et out of the tub" I sucked in a deep breath, bracing myself Soundless tears rolled downthe events of that night as h they had happened to soirl and not me Now that I had started, I was determined to say it all Finally "And then he made ain, holdingkeeping ers dug into his forear to him as words rushed fro with hi at me He told me to touch it, but I wouldn’t" I shookinto a firry But also excited that I was defying hiht him "He told et away He grabbed ht back and he just laughed and slapped ot really crazy then I screaaze, shaking etically Like I should somehow have kepteyes that looked suspiciouslydeal "Moht He slapped her around, but she got him out the door, and then she just came into the bathroom and stared at me I never saw her look like that before Even at Daddy’s funeral she had never looked sowrecked We packed up our stuff in the car and drove I fell asleep in the backseat, but when I ere at Gram’s"

I stopped at this part because as hard as it was to tell him what happened to me in that bathroom, this was actually harder This was the part that was etched in my mind, burned into me with a red-hot brand

"I was actually excited at first Mo, so we didn’t see her that ood-bye" I couldn’t breathe as I remembered this The feel of my mother’s hands on reen eyes eerily bright in her thin face "She told me she couldn’t keep me safe anymore" The tears rolled freely, unchecked and silent on hed "It was the best she could do--"

"No," I snapped "The best she could have done is get the help she needed Beat her addiction"

He cupped ot you to sohed at that It was a harsh and ugly sound "Funny you should say that"

He arched an eyebrow

"When she alking away, she suddenly turned around She ran back and grabbed Purple Bear froht in front ofin the air

"What the fuck?"

I continued bitterly, re her destroy that bear felt like she wasa part of me "She told me Purple Bear couldn’t keep me safe Just like she couldn’t That I should never expect that from anyone That I needed to look after myself now and never count on anyone"

He was silent for ato help--"

"Yeah I know she was trying to teach me a lesson in self-reliance As screwed up as it was But I was a child"

Reece heldmy back in smooth sweeps I let him For a little while anyway, I let his hand and ar it would be the last ti sounds near my ear

"I know you’ve been hurt," he started, his voice low in my ear "So have I Maybe we can help heal each other"

I broke away, peering at hi as I studied hied as I was No one lost their ht and lived with a man like his father and came out whole

I turned and reached for ain, I spoke evenly "Ever since my mom left me I’ve had a plan I know it sounds ridiculous to you, but Hunter was part of that"

"That’s bullshit" He stood Indifferent to his nakedness, he grabbed his clothes and started getting dressed with hard moveuess the experience with your mother didn’t teach you shit"