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I don’t know if I made a noise or if he felt me behind hiht he would sed, and he became wary Like he didn’t trust me Then his face went blank

I had all these e to spill out into the open He looked like he couldn’t care less

I wanted to spit it out and run, but I knew that was a bad idea It’s not exactly noriven him mono

"Can we talk… in private?" I asked

He looked around the rooine where his eyes went To Eric probably Maybe to Cade Or Do at, he stayed focused there as he said, "I don’t think that’s a good idea, Bliss"

Yeah, I’d run out of good ideas a long ti," I promised him

He looked at me, finally I wanted to believe I saw a softness in his eyes, but I could have iined it I did that all the time All I had to do was closetoward me, his lips millimeters from my own But always… always I opened my eyes and it wasn’t real

A hand curved aroundIt was Eric He started talking, about rehearsals and costus I just didn’t have roo at his boss His sht, close-lipped When was the last tirin

Maybe I didn’t have to tell him I mean, I wasn’t even sick

It’s not like he’d made out with anyone else froot sick, he never had to know Plus, he clearly wanted to just forget our little fling ever happened Ijobs for Christ’s sake And ever since then, I’d been careful not to look at hiive any indication that I wasn’t as over this as he was Because as bad as things were, it would be infinitely worse if he were just gone altogether

Yeah I’d tell hi it up if it wasn’t actually an issue

I excused oodbye to Eric and Garrick both Then I went back to pretending At leastput to so else with it It taughtBreak, I woke up exhausted and was so cold that I wore a sweater to Garrick’s class, even though it was spring in Texas It was pretty obvious, or it should have been, but I was so pre-occupied with surviving the day and getting to the break that I pushed aside , "Sorry to give you guys homework over the break, but when you co on May 23rd, which for those of you not looking at your calendar is the day after your graduation"

Doht before count as a definitive plan?"

I didn’t even have the energy to roll ht at rehearsal, and the rest--have a great spring break! Don’t get arrested or ! Enjoy the rest of your day"

I think there was clapping, but s, and decided I didn’t really need to go to the rest of o hoood I’d be fine after I slept a little longer

I felt dizzy as I tottered toward the door

I hadn’t realized everyone was gone until Garrick and I were alone, and he asked, "Are you okay, Bliss?"

I nodded My head felt like it was full of cotton

"Just tired," I told hih to make sure my response was carefully neutral--not needy or bitchy "Thanks though, have a good break!" My voice sounded far away, and it took all of et out of the doors and to my car

The drive ho, but I couldn’t re the wheel, but then I was in front of ht into it, but ht beside ht I set one alarm for 5 PM so I’d have time to fix dinner before hand, and I set another for 5:05 PM just in case I accidentally turned off the first Then the bed caved in aroundinto oblivion

Minutes later, the world was screaainst my ears, but they were dead, lifeless at ue felt barbed,over felt likemountains

The clock read 5:45 PM

I blinked and read it again

5:45 PM

The world was still screa and finally, finally I lifted my hands and pushed at ain, but ed like acid on its way down

Dazed, I looked at the clock again I was out of time Rehearsal started in fifteen minutes Somehow… I don’t kno, really… I pushed s quivered like the floor was a boat and beneath it the sea There were things I needed to do… I knew that, but I couldn’t think beyond that nagging sense that there was so And it was so cold, where was s I could find, I lurched outside towardto sit still I stuck a hand out to steadythere to catch ed to catch round; I was just so tired Would it be so bad to be there? On the ground?

It was so cold though I really should go inside if I was going to lay down… or in my car Did I have ti to clear the fog, and so awful rattled around in my skull It hurt God, it hurt I pressed at it with ain, which hurt, too Everything hurt Everything

I couldn’t stand up anyround, reaching for it, thinking the asphalt would be war hooked ht, a fish dangling on a line

I began to cry becauseand my throat was clamped down like iron I still wanted my coat, and I didn’t want to be a fish, and I wanted to sleep

Sleep

Soone, andSleep

Sleep perchance to drea with bees

"… Be okay I can’t tell how bad, but she definitely has a fever She’s not coherent at all Mono, yeah Should I take her to the hospital? Are you sure? You’re sure Okay Yes Bye "