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On cue, a busty shot girl comes to our table and leans over with her hand onelse, cutie?"

That pretty much answers Kate’s question, huh?

"Sure, honey Could you bring us another round?"

As the waitressto the ceiling "Anyway Give me your ten"

"I’ve had sex withBreak 2004 Mexico is awesorin proudly "It impresses most women" I lean forward and lower ain, you’re not most women, are you?"

She licks her lips, her eyes onwith s our drinks I crack et…inti as I could I couldn’t resist any longer

The smile drops froht?"

Borrowing sooad, "Come on, Claire--just answer a simple question"

Kate picks up her drink and knocks it back iiven a blow job?"

Please, God, don’t let Kate be one of those women You know the ones I mean--cold, unadventurous, the ones who just don’t do that The ones who insist onin the missionary position only They’re the reason men like Elliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton risk the destruction of their political careers, ’cause they’re just that desperate for a happy ending

She flinches as the vodka burns down her throat "Billy doesn’t like…oral sex He doesn’t like to give it, I ot to be drunk There’s no way in holy hell that Kate would be telling me this were she not completely and utterly shitfaced She hides it well, don’t you think? But she still hasn’t answered my question

As for her fiancé--he’s a pussy No pun intended Mywell" Okay, she didn’t actually say those exact words, but you get the picture If I’ her Sorry if that’s crude, but that’s just how it is

And this is Kate we’re talking about here I’d eat her for breakfast every day of the week and twice on Sunday And I can’t think of a single ree withidiot

"So, since he’s never…you know He doesn’t think it’s fair that I should do it to him So, no…I’ve never…"

She can’t even say it I have to help her out "Given head? Sucked hied? Blown his balls and his les I’ I’ve ever seen She takes her hands off her face and blows out a breath "Moving on My ten I’ve been with Billy for over ten years"

I choke on my beer "Ten years?"

She nods "Al when you were…"

"Fifteen Yeah"

So, if I’ is no one down on her? Don’t mean to beat a dead horse, but I just can’t wrap ht?

I could cry What a fucking sin Spare the karaoke guy--save the bullet for Kate’s boyfriend

"How long have you been engaged?"

"About seven years He asked e"

Those two sentences tell me exactly what kind of y He knew his girl was out of his league, that she was going places and would most likely leave him in the dust So what does he do? He asks her toher before she knew any better

"That’s why the ring is so…you know…small But it doesn’tBussing tables,hiest rock at Tiffany’s"

And those few sentences tell me exactly what kind of woman Kate Brooks is too A lot of Manhattan women are all about flash--the brand of the car, the na Superficial Empty I should know; I’ve slept with most of them But Kate is the real deal Genuine She’s all about quality, not quantity

She rereith, Alexandra doesn’t really give a rat’s ass about labels or what other people think That’s how she ended up with a guy like Steven He and Alexandra started dating in high school, when he was a sophoend at St Mary’s Prep To this day, his name is invoked in her hallowed halls with reverence

What’s that? Yes, I went to Catholic school You’re surprised? You shouldn’t be My profanity has a certain religious flavor that can only be learned through a lifetime of Catholic education Jesus H Christ…Goddahty…holy fucking shit--and that’s just e heard froet ht, Steven and Alexandra

Steven is not the uy, nor the most suave He’s not a player; he never was Then how did hea prize like my sister, you ask?

Confidence

Steven never doubted hih for The Bitch He refused to be intimidated He always exuded that quiet self-assurance that women are attracted to Because he knew that no one could ever love e years before Steven could join her, did he worry? Hell no He wasn’t afraid to let her go Because he kneith absolute certainty that one day she would come back To him

Obviously Billy Dickhead Warren wasn’t so sure

Two hours later, Kate and I are certifiably drunk See us there? Staring at the stage, sipping our beers with those glazed looks on our faces You can learn a lot about a person when they’re drunk, and I have learned a boatload about Kate When she drinks--she’s a talker

Think she’s a screamer too? Never mind; that part comes later

Kate’s ho the western-themed diner her family owns It sounds like a real middle-America type of place The kind where the locals eat breakfast before work and teenagers congregate after a football gah school years She didn’tValedictorian, Kate used to be quite the wild child That explains why she holds her liquor so well Apparently, she and the shithead spent their youth breaking into roller-skating rinks after hours, shoplifting, and singing in a band together

Oh yeah, that’s what the donkey dick still does for a living He’s a ht?

Yep--unemployed

Why is Kate still with this loser? That’s the million-dollar question, kids I’ister at Mickey-fucking-D’s If you’re a irlfriend

"Karaoke sucks," I grunt as the blond transvestite at the"I Will Survive"