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He squats down and crosses his arhs and leans way in Our noses are a millimeter apart I want to turn my head away, except I don’t Hiswhen he says, "That’s what I want, Caroline That’s what I never told you I see your face when I close my eyes Over break, when you called? I jerked off to the sound of your voice while you were on the phone I’ive you and no room for you in my life, and I want you anyway"

I’m still So still, because I need to let his words sink in

Not so I can figure theure theht now I don’t care I just need to feel what he said all the way throughather it in

Deep and then deeper, just like he said

So I do that while he waits I pack his words around ht words It’s dangerous to want West so ives me--any profane, broken piece of hied, stupid and wrong

I don’t care I don’t care

"West?" I whisper

"Yeah"

Our lips are touching, dry brushes of his uess after, which h I haven’t ad

"You’re a horrible friend"

"We’re not friends"

His hands His hands on ers slipping into my hair

"You would be the worst boyfriend in the entire history of boyfriends"

He drops, knees on the floor now, one ar off the edge of the bed, except he’s there to catchonna be your boyfriend"

"Then what What"

It’s not a question I’h to ask hi a way around his elbows and his roving hands to get hi and hot, slick and floating, lost and stupid, and it’s better than anything

He gets a knee between h with both hands on h that it hurts, but I don’t care, because all I want is him closer I don’t care until he pulls , where the light is so bright it hurts htness flashes like a strobe

Like a camera

This is nuts

This is reckless

"West," I say

"Caroline," he mutters

"Stop"

He stops

When he lifts his head, his eyes are sex-drugged and sleepy His lips are red, his skin flushed behind the stubble on his chin, and I feel the tingling raw spot on ainst me I want him to do that everywhere on le and ache and then fix it--and I don’t recognize this version of myself I don’t knoho I am when I’m like this

"I need …"

He braces his hands onth away "What do you need?"

"Rules Boundaries I need some idea … what this is"

He looks doard the floor, but his gaze gets caught on rin spread over his face as he stares at h my shirt

"Quit that"

"You’re into me," he says

"Shut up"

"You’re so into ht now"

"I bet you’re hard"

"It’s like Thor’s hty hammer in my pants" He says it with a s that sounds like Mole-near

"Spell it"

"M-j-o-l-n-i-r"

"Jesus Why do you know that?"

"A better question uys love talking about how big and hard their haet"

I ease out froain "Yeah That part"

West sits next to ives me some room to think

So I think About his hand on his hammer "You really did that ere on the phone?"