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I want to apologize, but I’m not sure how, or even what to say

West doesn’t wait around for ure it out He takes his cart, checks the spine of the next book in line, and begins rolling down the aisle away from me

"I’m sorry," I call to his back "I didn’t mean it like that"

"Don’t worry about it, princess," he says without turning around "I won’t say a word to anyone"

"Okay" I wrap my aruess we’re finished, and I’m relieved Sort of

I’ht puke

West pauses, right in thefro his forear, aard minute that feels like a year

He lifts his head and looks right at ood day for us to have this talk"

"No," I agree "Probably not"

He blows out a breath "I shouldn’t have hit hi to do, and I’m still pretty wired from it Sorry I …" He waves his hand at me "Sorry for all that"

I don’t knohat to say, so I nod

"Is your nose okay?"

"It’s fine"

"It hurt?"

"A little But it’s not a big deal"

He flexes and releases his swollen hand a few ti down at it It’s his left

"What about your hand?" I ask

"It’ll heal"

The floor falls silent I wonder if anyone is up here If there’s a girl around the corner, sitting in silence, listening to this whole thing

Maybe she’s like me Scared and stuck, frozen in place

"You know," West says, "you didn’t do anything wrong"

"Yeah That’s what Bridget tells me"

But she only says it because it’s what she’s supposed to say I knohat she really thinks It’s the sa wrong I trusted the wrong person I made a stupid e of me, and it’s my responsibility to own up to it

West shakes his head, as though he can hear all these thoughts, but he doesn’t buy it "You took soirl gavestick them on the Internet, no matter how pissed at her I was"

"You saw theing pressure inisn’t on my schedule

"He says he didn’t do it," I whisper

"That’s because he’s a douchebag Douchebags lie"

"Can we not talk about this?"

His head drops, his gaze falling back to the books "All I wanted to say was, I don’t think you canit"

I have no reply It hurts too much to hear him articulate it--my worst fear--and for the second tih both times I did it to ain

"Caroline"

The way he says my name forces me to look up

"You knohat?" he asks

"What?"

He starts wheeling his cart away Turning his head toward ap between your teeth, you looked fucking hot"

He turns the corner The wheels squeak as he

I won’t think about what ithere, ar at my feet

It’s too screwed up, so I just won’t think about it

I won’t wonder if he’s right and I’ I’ve done to try to rescuedifferent Fighting for ht now I can’t handle it I can only breathe in deep and try to make myself remember what’s next on et through the rest of this day

This is et my life back the way it was Bury the pictures, rebuildup