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The cab ride to Hayden’s place was quiet but coht of stairs, and inside the aparte She just needed a ht She didn’t know if she trusted herself to be alone with hier She placed her hands down softly on the bed, closed her eyes, and tried to get the ie of Hayden’s lips out of her mind

Hayden appeared a minute later in the open doorway and knocked twice softly "Hey"

Liz turned to face him, her moment broken

"Hey," Liz said He was in more comfortable clothes and his muscular chest stretched the thin cotton shirt She looked away, notto stare She took a seat on the bed and stifled a yawn

"I had a great tiht"

"Me too"

Hayden walked across the room and took the seat next to her Liz sat very still, not wanting to encourage him It had been different when they had been on this bed in thewould happen with Hayden But noith the feel of his lips still fresh in her lad you came this weekend," Hayden said

He reached forward, stroked her hair back behind her ear, and stared into her blue eyes Liz shen he didn’t move his hand fro to say soaze and he dropped his hand

She looked down at her hands where they lightly gripped the bedspread No matter what she felt for Hayden, she couldn’t let this continue when she had Brady on her mind She couldn’t hear his sords that would convince her otherwise She couldn’t taste his lips and allow her et all muddled with the feel of him

Hayden cleared his throat and stood "Well, I’ll let you get sohtly in his Her gaze rose to his automatically, and he stared into her eyes deeply as he placed a soft kiss on her hand Her heartbeat picked up without warning and her lips parted as the intensity of his affection hit her

"Good night, Liz," he said, running his thuht," she whispered

He s, and Liz released the breath she had been holding

She liked Hayden She had liked hiht that with Brady consuhts, her old affections for him wouldn’t resurface so easily And now that she had these feelings bubbling up inside of her, she was torn She wanted Brady to give her all the things Hayden had given her here in DC No matter what Liz felt about this weekend, she knew that it had opened her eyes to what she waswith Brady

The drive back to Chapel Hill felt twice as long as the drive to DC Alone in her car, Liz had too hed on her She was having a hard tiainst her like waves Half of the drive she felt as if she were drowning

She didn’t knohat she felt for Hayden She knew she felt so, but what had once been so clear was all blurry

And on top of everything, laced into every breath, she felt guilt She felt it take root in her body the longer she drove

Did I cheat? she wondered, the word tasting like bile in her mouth

She didn’t knohat to do Brady loved her He wouldn’t tell her and they couldn’t be public, but he loved her nonetheless Not tonear her perfectly clear

Still, it had felt nice, even right so out, laughing, walking around--the list was endless Those things felt perfectly right in a way that she had never felt with Brady

Liz pulled up to her house a couple hours later She was just happy to be ho inside her

Made it safe, she jotted off a text to Hayden

The response was nearly instantaneous

Good Thanks for coain when school starts

Liz grumbled under her breath and tossed the phone back into her purse A coupleup and down for Hayden to respond so enthusiastically toward her, but now…

Well, now she was trying to figure out what to do about Brady Maxwell

Victoria was lounging on the couch when Liz walked inside She flipped over onto her stomach and propped her head on her hands

"Hey, bitch! Hoas your trip? Did you have sex with your Hayden Lane?" she asked all at once

"Nice to see you, too," Liz said, tossing her bag on the floor and collapsing into a chair "And no, I didn’t have sex with Hayden I’ back over "You’re no fun!"

Liz sighed She wished she could tell Victoria everything that had happened all sus froe This was like the Eiffel Tower of secrets…well, as far as secrets went for Liz

Brady had taken over her life He had changed her, and Liz was pretty certain that it was for the better Their relationship was founded on hiding and secrets, yet at its core, she found only truth And still it wasn’t enough

With Hayden, she had the exact opposite They were completely free to be open, he told all of his friends about her, and he seemed completely attentive But he wasn’t Brady, and she couldn’t ever tell him about Brady

Her eyes were suddenly cloudy with tears, because she knew then that in her heart what she really wanted was Brady It had to be Brady And yet…he couldn’t give her what she needed