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Lindsey never showed Hatch--or anyone else--a canvas in progress, withholding even a glimpse of it until the final brush stroke had been applied Though she was evidently near co on it, and Hatch was surprised that she didn’t even twitch when Regina went around to the front of the easel to have a look He decided that no kid, just because she had a cute nose and soe he was denied, so he also walked boldly around the easel to take a peek
It was a stunning piece of work The background was a field of stars, and superimposed over it was the transparent face of an ethereally beautiful young boy Not just any boy Their Jimmy When he was alive she had painted him a few times, but never since his death--until now It was an idealized Jiht have been that of an angel His loving eyes were turned upward, toward a warht that rained down upon him from beyond the top of the canvas, and his expression was round, as the focus of the work, floated a black rose, not transparent like the face, rendered in such sensuous detail that Hatch could alreen skin of the stem was moist with a cool dew, and the thorns were portrayed with such piercingly sharp points that he half believed they would prick like real thorns if touched A single drop of blood glistened on one of the black petals So rose with an aura of preternatural power, so it drew the eye, demanded attention, almost mesmeric in its effect Yet the boy did not look down at the rose; he gazed up at the radiant object only he could see, the iht be, it was of no interest whatsoever when coht above
From the day of Jimmy’s death until Hatch’s resuscitation, Lindsey had refused to take solace frood ould create a world with death in it He recalled a priest suggesting prayer as a route to acceptance and psychological healing, and Lindsey’s response had been cold and dismissive: Prayer never works Expect noonly wait to join theed in her now The black rose in the painting was death Yet it had no power over Ji to hi able to conceive of the painting and bring it off so flawlessly, Lindsey had found a way to say goodbye to the boy at last, goodbye without regrets, goodbye without bitterness, goodbye with love and with a startling new acceptance of the need for belief in so more than a life that ended always in a cold, black hole in the ground
"It’s so beautiful," Regina said with genuine awe "Scary in a way, I don’t knohy … scary … but so beautiful"
Hatch looked up fro, but could not speak Since his resuscitation, there had been a rebirth of Lindsey’s heart as well as his own, and they had confronted the rief But on some fundamental level, they had not accepted that life could ever be as sweet as it had been before that one s Lindsey’s eyes, he knew that she had finally eht of his little boy’s death fell upon Hatch as it had not in years, because if Lindsey could make peace with God, he ain, could not, looked again at the painting, realized he was going to cry, and left the roo Without quite re the route, he went downstairs, into the den that they had offered to Regina as a bedrooarden at the side of the house
In the warm, late-afternoon sun, the roses were red, white, yellow, pink, and the shade of peach skins, so as saucers, but not one of therance
With the taste of salt in the corners of his mouth, he reached out with both hands toward the nearest rose-laden bush, intending to touch the flowers, but his hands stopped short of the a cradle, he suddenly could feel a weight draped across the was in his arms, but the burden he felt was no o, how the body of his cancer-wasted son had felt
In the final moments before death’s hateful visitation, he had pulled the wires and tubes from Jim, had lifted him off the sweat-soaked hospital bed, and had sat in a chair by the , holding hi to him until the pale, parted lips drew no more breath Until his own death, Hatch would reht of the wasted boy in his arms, the sharpness of bones with so little flesh left to pad the off skin translucent with sickness, the heart-rending fragility
He felt all that now, in his earden
When he looked up at the summer sky, he said, "Why?" as if there were Someone to answer "He was so small," Hatch said "He was so damned small"
As he spoke, the burden was heavier than it had ever been in that hospital room, a thousand tons in his empty arms, maybe because he still didn’t want to free hie thing happened--the weight in his arms slowly diminished, and the invisible body of his son seemed to float out of his embrace, as if the flesh had been trans last, as if Ji or consolation any more
Hatch lowered his arms
Maybe from now on the bittersweet memory of a child lost would be only the sweet memory of a child loved And maybe, henceforth, it would not be athe roses
The day arolden
The sky was perfectly clear--and utterly ina asked if she could have sos in her rooether they has where she wanted theht froe
As they worked, Lindsey said, "How about dinner at a really super pizza parlor I know?"
"Yeah!" the girl said enthusiastically "I love pizza"
"They make it with a nice thick crust, lots of cheese"
"Pepperoni?"
"Cut thin, but lots of it"
"Sausage?"
"Sure, why not Though you’re sure this isn’t getting to be a pretty revolting pizza for a vegetarian like you?"
Regina blushed "Oh, that I was such a little shit that day Oh, Jeez, sorry I mean, such a smartass I mean, such a jerk"
"That’s okay," Lindsey said "We all behave like jerks now and then"