Page 34 (1/2)
Unconsciously, heHe saw in his mind’s eye the raven on the , the still and silent and watchful raven
Then the bang came, and he did not fly or even flinch, but sat in a Zen indifference
Valis lowered the gun He settled into an armchair that faced Billy’s Billy closed his eyes and leaned his head back
"I could have killed you tithout leaving the bedroom," Valis said
This was surely true Billy didn’t ask how
"You must be very tired," Valis said
"V"
"How’s your hand?"
"Okay Vicodin"
"And your forehead?"
"Noble"
Billy wondered if his eyes wereunder his lids, the way Barbara’s sometimes did in her dreams They felt still
"I had a third wound planned for you," Valis said
"Can it wait until next week?"
"You’re a funny guy, Billy"
"I don’t feel that funny"
"Do you feel relieved?"
"Mmmmmm"
"Are you surprised by that?"
"Yeah" Billy opened his eyes "Are you surprised?"
"No," the artist said "I saw the potential in you"
"When?"
"In your short stories Before I ever met you" Valis put the revolver on a table beside his chair "Your potential so explicit on the page As I researched your life, the potential beca my parents"
"Not that so much The loss of trust"
"I see"
"Without trust, there can be no tranquil resting of the mind"
"No rest," Billy said "No real peace"
"Without trust, there can be no belief No belief in kindness Or integrity In anything"
"You have ht into me than I do"
"Well, I’m older," Valis said "And more experienced"
"Wayhave you planned this performance? Not just since Monday in the bar"
"Weeks and weeks," said Valis "Great art requires preparation"
"Did you take the commission for the mural because I was here, or did the coether," Valis said "It was quite serendipitous Things often are"
"A And here we are"
"Yes, here we are"
" ‘Move Valis’s suht of how the perfor out, I think I would edit that to ‘Movement, velocity, freedom’"
"Like the fish"
"Yes Like the fish Do you want freedom, Billy?"
"Yes"
"I a have you been… ?"
"Thirty-two years Since I was sixteen The first feere e No control No technique No style"
"But now…"
"Now, I have becoray and lustrous eyes
"Yes," Valis answered for hiht occurred to Billy, and he leaned forward slightly in his chair, curious "Are the others on your project crew…"
"Are they what?"
"Are they… previous successes of yours?"
Valis smiled "Oh, no None of them has ever seen my collection Men like you and I… we’re rare, Billy"
"I suppose so"
"You’re probably full of questions about all this"
"Maybe when I’ve gotten some sleep"
"I was out to Deputy Olsen’s house a little while age You left it clean as a whistle"
Billy gri else out there, did you?"
"No, no I kneere getting close to this moment, no need to tor how your h you were"
Billy yawned "Circumstantial evidence I have this fear of it"
"You must be very tired"
"I’m whacked"