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Admittedly, she scared er Worse, the purity and the intensity of her self-esteem ensured that she would never doubt herself, that she could not con­ceive of suffering unpleasant consequences for any act that she ht commit

My father likes er lies just beneath the surface The enuine psychological disorder, the er does not appeal to him

All of his lovers have fit this profile He doesn’t appear to spendhis need, drawn by vibes or pheroularity

He once told me that the moodier a woman is, the hotter she will prove to be in bed This was fatherly advice that I could have lived without

Now, as I poured coffee into a gutful of Pepsi, he said, "Is this Llewellyn girl knocked up?"

"No"

"You’re too young for e - -that’s when it’s time to settle down"

He said this for Britney’s benefit He would never marry her Later, she would reht would be more epic than Godzilla vs Mothra

Sooner or later, one of his hotties, during a bad , will maim or kill him I believe that on some deep level, even if subcon­sciously, he knows this

"What’s that on your forehead?" Britney asked

"Band-Aid"

"You fall down drunk or soht?"

"No It’s an employment-related fork wound"

"A what?"

"A flipped fork flicked my forehead"

Alliteration seems to offend people Her expression soured "What kind of shit are you on?"

"I’m fully amped on caffeine," I admitted

"Caffeine, my ass"

"Pepsi and coffee and No-Doz And chocolate Chocolate contains caffeine I had sohnuts"

My father said, "Saturday’s not good We can’t ot other plans we can’t cancel"

"That’s all right," I said "I understand"

"I wish you’d have told us earlier"

"No problem I didn’t expect you’d be able to make it"

"What kind of dork," Britney wondered, "announces his wedding just three days before the cereical engine didn’t have a go-easy gear "Well, damn it, he’s such a freak"

"That’s really not helpful," my father admonished her, but in a honeyed tone

"Well, it’s true," she insisted "Like we haven’t talked about it maybe three dozen tie - "

"Above a garage," I corrected

" - he wears the saeek in town, he’s a wannabe cop like a water boy hanging around a football teaument from me," I said

" - such a major freak, the way he cos and ‘employment-related fork wounds’ Give e it, accept it There’s no reason to argue Peace"

My father couldn’t quite fake a convincing note of sincerity when he said, "Don’t say that You’re not a freak"

He doesn’t know about e of seven, when rew in power and reliability, I didn’t go to him for counsel

I hid my difference from him in part because I expected hi lottery nu­ured he’d parade ift into a TV show, or even sell shares into finance an info off the stool, I said, "I think now maybe I knohy I came here"

As I started toward the kitchen door, my father followedto face hio toher nearly naed body against him She put her arms around him, hands flat on his chest HeI’ on," I said,I desperately need to know… or need to do And somehow, some way, it’s related to Mother Somehow she has the answer"

"Answers?" he said incredulously "You know perfectly well that yourwickedly at me over my father’s left shoulder, Britney slid her hands slowly up and down his muscled chest and drum-flat belly

"Sit down," my father said "I’ll pour you another coffee If you have a probleht handun­der the waistband of his hip-slung shorts

He wantedwoman He had a weak man’s pride in his status as a stud, and this pride was so fierce that it filled hishis son’s humiliation

‘"Yesterday was the anniversary of Gladys Presley’s death," I said "Her son wept uncontrollably for days after losing her, and he grieved openly for a year"

A faint frown made the shallowest of furrows in rossed in her galittered hat ht hand slowly slipped deeper in his khaki shorts

"He loved his dad, too Tomorrow is the anniversary of Elvis’s own death I think I’ll try to look him up and tell him how lucky he was from the very day he was born"

I walked out of the kitchen, out of the house

He didn’t come after me I hadn’t expected that he would