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I licked my lips and looked back at the TV "Because I don’t deserve her man"

Alec sat next to me on the couch "And you think I do?"

"I know you don’t" I sighed

"Deether "I need… so I don’t know I’m just… Alec, I’lanced atin ona hard tih"

"Yeah"

"All week?"

"Here and there" I sighed "I think" -- I shrugged again -- "I think I’o be happy do your thing, whatever I just… I don’t know I need to fixto be you"

"Demetri--"

"Stop" I choked on the word "It’s true I’ve looked up to youhappened last year you just… got better and you left , you weren’t doing anything that you used to say was totally fine You abandoned s with you? Is that what this is about?"

"No" I stood and started pacing in front of him "I’m pissed you introduced me to them in the first place I’m pissed that while you’ve made a et the girl I’ry as hell that I still crave pills, I still crave pot, and you’re happy as a clam I’m pissed because you leftout"

"Deht or so, whatever, I’ll have ot into ainst the wheel until the pain was so fierce that I wanted to cry

The problem

I was still in the dark

And Alec deserved to be there with ifted hiel

Life wasn’t fair

And suddenly I wanted to drive off a cliff

CHAPTER THIRTY

Alec

I WAS OFFICIALLY breaking the law I cliit froh a mine field Clothes were everywhere and I could have sworn I just stepped on a stuffed bear that talked, though I couldn’t be sure because its battery was clearly dying,it just made a really creepy hoarse noise that I’m sure will come back to haunt me one day when I’m alone in my house

Note to self, hide bear in Deed s Hoas it fair that I ca like roses and he was stuck?