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PLAIN AND SIMPLE, this night sucked

Sadly, it was azed around Masquerade, an intihtclub where everyone wore black domino masks, some elaborate and some plain, to hide their identity A few die-hards even sported h I’d gone modern with a slinky little nuht at nearly six feet Yep, I’irl and so into azed around the s off randorooht Hartford Wilcox, aka Mr Nice Guy Douchebag of Whitman University in North Carolina, had jiltedday as we had dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant, Mario’s

We were over Like pay phones andI wanted on my Perfect Man List--except for his fast-paced intercourse and overly hairy chest, but I’d overlooked those things because slow, passionate,sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be

Trust o

That kind of passion can cut you open and rip your heart out with a spoon

I never wanted that kind of love lust again

My bestie Lulu, who’d come with er as we sat in front of the heavy wooden bar of the club "Hey, Earth to Relazed look out of your eyes and order a drink already I’, the oat with a blowtorch," she added in her southern drawl She fluffed her pixie-cut pink hair and straightened her black tutu

Clearly, she was on a reed,the bottles behind the bar "I want tequila," I said

Her face snapped back to me "What? I knohat happens when you drink that crap You either eat a ton of tacos and puke, or you wrap yourself around sorireat ass--which was probably plowing soh burst out of hs I’d been doing a lot of lately For the past teeks, I’d vacillated between a sobbing ry woman who periodically became so incensed that "fuck" was the only word that see to the post office toto the wedding venue and not getting the ten-thousand-dollar deposit back Double fuck Realizing I was homeless fall semester--which was in teeks--holy fuck

Of coursedown, I realized I’d resorted tomy diamond tennis bracelet around my wrist like rosary beads

You have to ered over to us, a tall, lean guy with a beard and a sleeve of rose tattoos down his arms He introduced himself as Mike and asked anted Lulu stuck with her usual, an apple martini

I ordered an entire bottle of Silver Patrón Oblivion, thy name is Remi