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I feeland I’ me the most "I don’t understand," I tell him "I just don’t understand why you lied"

"The fact that you need a reason to stay here with in to escape , Riley, and I knew you would Just noas hoping you’d shock the shit outta o if I was healed up, but you didn’t `Cause you’re not there with me yet And that sucks for me, babe, `cause I’le CJ only pauses to let what he just said sink in, I think, not because he’s trying to find the words I can tell--he already has them

"I’m at the point where I want to live with you `cause I don’t see an end to this," he continues, voice sure and even "Not next week Not nextyears fro around in that hoodie of mine you stole Your clothesto stop wanting that You said this has always felt different, and you’re right, it has `Cause we got it good, babe The kinda good I know coood I’d suffer through months of ‘just friends’ bullshit for I’ve watched ot it Not me I’ve never had that until you, Riley I want you here But you’re still keeping this shit a secret and needing a reason to stay And I don’t knohat the fuck to say to that"

My

I’ve wanted to hear so irl wants to hear frouy, and he just said the?

"You," I shakethe heel of o," I whisper I lower my hands to look at CJ His brows are lifted He heard o," before scurrying along the front of the couch

"You should go," he echoes in disbelief

I don’t respond to his of the stool and set it on the round seat The rest of s are already inthe zipper open

"Are you kidding lare at CJ "You lied," I hiss I watchto me Do you have any idea how that feels? Richard lied He kept stuff fro You don’t tellfor you Laundry Helping you in and out of the bath How long were you going to keep this up? Until I get there with you? I’ this frootten over it" CJ’s voice is murderously low He stands tall and pulls his arms across his chest "Whatever probleether, I would’veReed’s face to a pulp enter et it," I tell hiet what?"

"You wouldn’t need to ot over it If he had a problem, I wouldn’t have a brother anymore I’d choose you"

CJ’s brows lift in surprise

"I would," I say, standing taller "That’s how there I am with you" I bite down on the trerab nored Reed’s problems with Richard," I continue "I pretended they didn’t exist It bothered nore it this time I’d cut him out of my life Out of our life" I meet CJ’s eyes after I stuff s aith Beth She’s my best friend And the baby I’d want to see her I’ve decided it’s a her" I sniffle and shrug, letting my eyes fall "I don’t knohat I’d do about holidays We always spend Christs Easters My ethers All of the family in one placeshe insists on it" I lift ain "But I’d insist on everyone accepting you or I wouldn’t be a part of it I love you They need to love you too"

CJ’s lips part He looks ready to speak, and I’m almost too afraid to hear him say it

It--I love you too, darlin’

That wouldso much harder

"I never lied to you, CJ I always told you why I was keeping us a secret I always talked to you, but you," I zip up the duffle and slide the long strap up to my shoulder, "you didn’t talk to --you could’ve told me you were healed and you didn’t You kept a secret between us And we don’t keep secrets We never have"

Tell me a secret

The words are all around us I hear them and I know he does too How many times have we said them over the past couple of months? I’ve lost count