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He gets the waitress’s attention and holds up two fingers He’s asking for two checks I should have known I pull my money from my pocket He closes his hand on e pieces of apple pie I haven’t had apple pie since I left home Tears prick at the backs of my lashes and I don’t kno to stop them "Damn it," I say to myself

He reaches over and wipes beneath my eyes with the pads of his thumbs "It’s just pie," he says

I nod, because I can’t talk past the luan

Black shit runs down froBut I don’t knohy I want to ask her, but I’ve already said too ht years ago I tried for a while, but even withaids, it was hard to hear round teased ain I learned to read lips really fast Of course, I s But I can keep up Most of the tiht now "Why the tears?" I ask, as she takes a bite of her pie She sniffs her tears back, and she ss This time, it’s her on’t talk

Hell, if pie willtruly roirl that deserves flowers and candy And all the good shit I can’t afford But she likes to talk to me I can tell that ive her bag back

She asks me a question but her mouth is full of pie, so I wait a ulps, smiles shyly at me and says, "Were you born deaf?" She points toher the sign for deaf I shake my head

"How old were you when it happened?" Her brows scrunch together, and she’s so damn cute I want to kiss her

I make a three and flick it at her

"Three?" she asks

I shake et it So, I put one finger in front of the three and she says, "Thirteen?"

I nod

"What happened when you were thirteen?"

"High fever one night," I say, wipingshe’ll understand

She opens her er Iher it’s ure out how to mime this one so that she’ll understand, so I say very carefully, "Where are you froether as though in prayer

She laughs and says, "No," again I don’t doubt she’s serious She’s not tellingher and she still wouldn’t telldinner with me"

"How do I say thank you?" she asks "Show ht with exciten and she repeats it "Thank you," she says Andbeside o"

I nod and stand up, and then I putover my shoulder

"I’ll take that," she says as she picks up her guitar case

But I throw some bills on the table and wave at Annie, the waitress She throwsht of it Annie loves me And she’s known my family since before our et out to the street and light a cigarette Kit scrunches up her nose, but I do it anyway I take one drag fro the eround, and throw it in a nearby trash can What a waste But I can tell she doesn’t like it My brothers don’t like it either At least now they’re in good co, and I position her under a street light so I can see her mouth

"Where do you live?" I ask "I’ll walk you holances up and down the street Cars are rushing by and she’s looking at me like she’s suddenly lost

"I live around the block," she says "Give " This tiives me a rotten look She shakes her hand at me like that’ll matter

I lean close to her, because I’ to her My brothers would be hurt if they thought I could talk and just chose not to I let them think it’s a skill I unlearned, instead "You can’t walk ho you ho from me But I don’t let her She’s tiny And I’m not I win She balls up her fist, and I know I’m in trouble

I lean close to her "I don’t want to sleep with you," I say "I just want to et ho I draw a cross in the center of my chest like she did before and say, "Promise"

It’s pretty late It was already dark e left the subway tunnel Now it’s really late Later than she should be on the streets by herself Particularly in this neighborhood This is hborhood I’m perfectly safe here But she’s not fro her voice She’s not ers down, and pretend they’re soo," I say

She stands there, and crosses her ar I’m already sure of and it’s that this chick uy from the diner, the one she called Bone, walks up beside us "Need soht, and I can barely see them But I can see hers She smiles what I know to be a phony smile at hi knees, and she says, "Fine"

"This your guy for the night?" he asks