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This town, these people, it was all that she’d been searching for her whole life A place to call ho, she thought, staring into Josh’s beautiful eyes Doing her best to et hurt Wouldn’t be left But living that waythe best parts

"Whatever happens," she whispered "With the race, with the baby, with the future, I want you to know I don’t regret any of it I love you"

Josh put his hands on her shoulders, then kissed her "I love you, too," he said when he straightened

The floor seemed to lurch a little, then still She felt every rinned "I love you, Charity You’re everything I’ve ever wanted I love being with you, how I feel when I’m around you I want to be the man in your life The person you can depend on I want us to be a family For always I want you to marry me"

The words bounced around in her brain like a dozen pinballs Individually they ether they were impossible to believe

"You love ain "As soon as the race is over, we’ll work out the details Where we’ll live, when’s the wedding"

His lips continued toBut she wasn’t listening

The race How could she have forgotten? This was all about the race About being fauy on the poster

"I haven’t said I’ll marry you," she pointed out

"I know When I win--"

"That’s what’s i I don’t want to be with someone who has to be worshiped by uy ants "

"I do want you I’ on the circuit I just need to prove I’ht bitterly "That’s just an excuse to be fawned over Winning the race doesn’t matter to me"

"It matters to me," he told her His jaas set, his expression determined "My mother left elique left when I couldn’t race anymore"

"I’m not either of them"

"I want you to be proud of me"

"I already am"

"I need to be proud of myself"

Which was the truth This was about him and how he felt She knew that But would it end with one race? Could he hear the crowd and then walk away? No

"I’ll win and then we can be together," he said

He was everything she’d ever wanted The man she loved, the father of her unborn child But he asked for the impossible

"I won’t be with you if you race," she said "I don’t want to be with someone who needs to win to feel whole"

The door next to them burst open Pia stuck her head out "Ohthe hospital Isn’t that the best?"

"The best," Charity whispered, knowing she had won and lost in equal

CHAPTER TWENTY

JOSH SAT AT THE BAR, sipping frolass of water It was three days before the race and he was in the best shape of his life His carefully choreographed workouts had honed every htened every reflex He’d done the work--now all he needed was a little luck

"For a guy on the verge of being a hero, you don’t look happy," Jo said "Want to talk about it?"

He shook his head and continued to stare at the bar

Jo glanced around, as ifsure no one could hear, then leaned close "You’ll do it, Josh I’ve seen you practicing You’ve been right in the middle of the pack and there hasn’t been a problem You’re fine You have to believe that"

He slowly raised his head to stare at the wo

"What did you say?" he asked

"I know you were scared for a long tiured out how to beat the fear I don’t think I could have To go through what you did? No way But you’re the man"

The impossible truth slammed into him His mouth went dry "You knew?"

"That you couldn’t ride anyht rides you took all the tiuess it was the only way you could get through it, right?"

He felt exposed and more than a little stupid "You knew?" he repeated

"Uuess Everyone knew Everyone in town"

"Not everyone Most people We didn’t want to talk about it You needed space to heal It made sense"

The past two years replayed in his hts, so to speak He remembered how carefully he’d hidden his bike, how he’d ridden in the dark, too ashaht How everyone had teased hi sex, when they’d known exactly what he was doing

He didn’t know if he should crawl under a rock or be grateful

"You look confused," Jo said

"That’s one way of putting it"

She smiled "You’re one of us We love you" Her senerally, of course I don’t want Charity co me up"

"You think she could take you?"

"Love does interesting things to a woth"

Maybe, but he wasn’t sure Charity loved him as much as she clai wasn’t about being the guy on the poster, as she clai himself He had to do this--prove that he could Then he could walk away and get on with his life

A couple of guys finished up a pool gah the bar