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I wonder why I’ to me So I have no idea what to expect at 11:00 aet

"Dr N" turns out to stand for Dr Nilsson, and Dr Nilsson turns out to be female, which has to be unusual for this era Her thick black hair is swept back into a tight bun, but her heart-shaped face keeps her fro severe She’s not mean; she’s not motherly; she is calm personified Her clothes look like any other woray Instead of the black bag doctors used to carry in the old days, she has only a notebook and pen And instead of asking how I feel, she takes a seat in one of the chairs nearest the long velvet sofa, takes out her notebook and says, "What shall we talk about today, Your Ilish Then it hits me--she’s not a rand duchess caain, if social history is evolving y would be very new to this world There ht not even be an analyst in Russia yet Or hter is seeing a shrink

Slowly I stretch out onto the sofa, again like in hness?"

I venture, "I guess--I guess I’, uh, conflicted about my father"

"Which one?"

"Which what?"

"Which father?" Dr Nilsson keeps taking notes without ever looking up fro at iven up your fantasy that your tutor is actually your father?"

It hits me so hard I can hardly breathe She re our cross-di we do while we’re in charge of their bodies I’ve seen other versions of Paul and Theo who had absolutely no clue about anything that happened while my Paul and Theo ithin thees are different for uerite I’ve ever visitedI did and said in her life

Grand Duchess Margarita tried to talk about what she’d experienced, which is why she wound up in therapy Nobody believed she’d actually been taken over by a visitor fro up

"Your Ihness," Dr Nilsson says "Do you wish to answer the question?"

"The tsar is ry with him sometimes, and it’s easy to pretend that somebody else is uerite tell the tsar the truth? If so, shesquad

I don’t feel as if I can breathe until Dr Nilsson says, "So it’s not a secret you were keeping Only a secret fantasy"

Dad’s safe I breathe out in relief "Yes"

"Good You’re better able to face reality now That’s progress" Dr Nilsson keeps taking notes "Do you miss your father on any level?"

"I miss my brothers and sister more" That much is the absolute truth If I could see little Peter and Katya again--talk with Vladiift

"And Lieutenant Markov?"