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"I’ll get another duty assignment soon, but not yet," I say, which is probably the truth Mo AWOL
Paul nods "I heard the younger workers were on shift The thirteen- and fourteen-year-olds It’s terrible" A lot of people say stuff like that about tragedies only because they think they’re supposed to, but Paul closes his eyes briefly after he speaks Like it hurts to remember it
When I think about a bunch of middle-school kids blown to bits in a factory already filled with explosives,as thirteen are working in factories? The war has already closed the schools, then This di my family and friends and everyone I love--it’s even closer to the brink than I realized
You’re the one who’s going to push thee, I remind myself My parents believe the Firebird project is their last hope; my job here is to take that hope away
I hate Conley forit
But as I sit here, looking across the table at Paul, I remember that a splinter of my Paul’s soul is trapped within Lost and utterly alone, in a world he can’t escape For hilad you phoned today It gives us a chance to talk" He takes a deep breath, obviously gearing hi he’s planned "When I spoke to you a few s difficult between us, I’iving hi?"
Paul’s hands twist the napkin across his lap "My father always toldI truly wanted"
I blink That soundsencouraging Always before, I’ve had the i but supportive
He continues, "So I thought I would ask you out, regardless of what your parentssomeone I misunderstood the depth of the commitment between you and Private Beck If I had realized, I would never have said anything Please forgivein front ofhis cap in his hands the way he’s twisting that napkin now Me, so addled with love or lust for Theo that I couldn’t see the good ht in front of me The depth of what he felt went unnoticed, unreturned My heart breaks for hiht
"It’s okay," I say "Really"
"Oh Good I’d thought--well, I’d been afraid you weren’t at ease withed features hter or a SWAT tealance at hi around Oakland after dark In shadow, he looks like someone who could take you down in about five seconds Yet I’ve seen how gentle he can be, and thescary guy I thought you were"
He looks skyward, like he wants to laugh but can’t "Big scary guy," he repeats
"Nope That’s not you"