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"I went to college," I say "I didn’t end up getting very far I was heartbroken after you left and things just weren’t working out for me No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t see smart"

"Anyway, I travelled a bit, dated a little, but in the end I’ve been restless for ten years Nothing ever felt right Then I heard you were back in town, and God, I was so scared to come and see you I never knehy you left; I didn’t know if it washorrible had happened There were tiht you were dead"

My voice hitches and he squeezes hter

"When I walked into that bar, I was so sure you’d knoho I was and you looked right through me"

"I’e what happened then, but can we try and see what happens now?"

"Of course," I whisper

I hope I’ he still loves Pippa is a big problem for me

Because I’m so in love with him

CHAPTER TWENTY

THEN – MALI

"You said it was nearly done with!" I cry, staring at Rainer’s black eye

"E the best I can"

"You’re being beaten What’s next, Rainer? Will you get killed?"

He flinches but he doesn’t say no That does soer, ht Fear creeps up my spine and I start to tremble "Rainer?" I breathe "You’re in that much trouble"

His eyes flash to mine and I know, I just know, that he most certainly is

"Is it really worth it?" I scream "God, Rainer, is it?"

"I have to sort this mess out, or it’ll come back here and ruin my life and yours Trust me on that, Emalie If I could just walk away I would, but there’s no fucking way I can I’et killed?" I wail

"I won’t get killed, I--"

"You can’t pro his hand "No!" I yell, slapping it away "Don’t toucheverything I can"

"What aboutto me?"

"I know and I’m sorry"

"I’ve barely seen you; I worry myself sick constantly Why did you do it, Rainer? Why did you enter into this with me if you didn’t want to be here?"

He steps forward, his hands in his hair "Because I fucking love you and want to keep you safe"