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Except so his wheels No matter how much he tried

And then it happened Three steps into the cave, his feet refused to go another step Just flat-out refused

The urge to turn and run out of there nearly overpowered him, and that pissed him off It was just a few stupid rocks stacked on top of one another Hell, he’d spent half his childhood hiding out here He knew these caves as well as he knew the back of his own hand, so he refused to acknowledge the bells clanging in his head and the way his vision was flashing like IEDs going off around hi pain arrowed into his chest

And then another

He pressed his hand to it, hard, but it didn’t help It wasn’t a heart attack He knew this But the pain still sucked the breath fros and replaced it with a ball of bitter panic Utterly out of control, he dropped to his knees rather than pass out "Oh Christ," he whispered, because here it ca, eyes closed, as he tried to ride it out while his brain screith hies slapped at his The stench of blood and fear

And death

"Adaot you"

He opened his eyes, realizing that Holly had gotten him to his feet and outside the cave by sheer force Pretty ihty pounds

"Breathe, Adaed off his backpack, putting her cool hand to the back of his sweaty neck "Bigger breaths," she saidhis own techniques on hiain, he dropped his head to his knees and concentrated on i It was all he could do

"Here" She thrust a bottle of water at him "Slow sips"

He slid her a look as he drank, then et up

She didn’t atteot up with hi, then?" she asked

The royal we should have irritated the hell out of him, but he had other problems There was the horror he felt that he’d let her see him like this Shame that he wasn’t in control And then there was the fire still in his chest, and his heart was palpitating against his ribs so hard he was surprised they didn’t shatter He couldn’t catch a da hot and sweating like a pig, he was now freezing-ass cold and shaking with it

And having trouble reht to stop this nightht Breathe So he did a few laps around a stand of trees, he and his parade Milo Holly He could feel her cal his hand, hers warm and steady in his icy one

When he’d first cohanistan, he’d walled himself off from the world His work made that easy He’d slipped into a routine He’d closed off his s and emotions, because if he didn’t allow himself to feel, then he wouldn’t be vulnerable to loss

His brothers had helped him feel comfortable So had Lilah And Jade And if they’d treated him with a certain care, he pretended not to notice And eventually he’dHe’d been there awhile now and had thought this was behind hio put himself on active S&R duty instead of incident coed to function at nearly one hundred percent, though his therapist had warned him that there’d be the occasional setback

And there had been It was a stark reminder of why he wasn’t in a place to let anyone into his life Why he wasn’t ready for a real relationship He couldn’t do it to someone he cared about Especially so it," he said "At least not completely You don’t have to ithwith hily calriet hie it on his own

Yeah, he really hated that

Finally he let out a long, shuddery breath and stopped, leaning back against one of the tall, sturdy pine trees, eyes closed When Holly didn’t speak, he opened his eyes again and looked at her

She gave him a soing to be okay" or "You’re looking better now," for which he was eternally grateful He hated useless, unnecessary conversation, and he hated to be patted on the head like a child and to be-up job of that all on his own

He was also grateful that she didn’t try to get him to talk about it Thanks to therapy, he could, but he didn’t like to, and he sure as hell didn’t want to do it nohen every ti hate caves"

She nodded "I’ that loud and clear"

"I’m okay now"

She slid his She wasn’t wearing any makeup, and her full lips pursed for a minute as she studied him carefully "Really?"

"Yeah"

"Really really?"

"No" He blew out a breath "But I’ there"

"Why don’t you stay here a few o check the rest of the caves and--"

"No I’ look, but she didn’t argue, once again earning his undying gratitude "Okay," she said "But let’s give it a minute first" That said she slid down the tree until she was sitting at the base Since she was still holding his hand, he was pulled down along with her

They were silent for a little while Perfectly fine with hih in the season that there were no birds, no insects Just the eerie, beautiful quiet of the remote landscape "I didn’t expect that," he finally adht you were iaze "Excuse me?"

"Don’t even try to tell me that wasn’t a complete freak-out," she said "A h "Aren’t you supposed to be kind to theaside now "You’re not h Holly was anxious to look through the caves for her dad, she was more anxious about Adam at the moment If she hadn’t seen his panic attack up close and personal, she’d never have believed it possible for hiether pretty fast, , and awe-inspiring She felt other things, too Far s Affection, for one It was hard to watch a big, bad, tough ain without wanting to hug hi hi a lit fuse

Go figure Apparently he wasn’t the only one of the two of them with a crazy streak