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Mrs Porter had just come in, DOA
Josh ran back into the hospital, but of course, there was no rush Not for the dead He grabbed the chart There’d be no official cause of death until the autopsy, but all signs pointed to an aneurysm
Josh stared down at Mrs Porter’s body in disbelief The possibility of an aneurysm had never been on his radar It was a silent killer So of course he hadn’t seen any signs of any i illness, and it certainly hadn’t been in her patient history, which he knew by heart Over the years, he’d probably spent a total of aritas frozen, her music soft and jazzy, and was a secret office supply ho She didn’t have ic to both, and she’d neverRace She’d planned on soet over her fear of flying
And now she was dead
It wasn’t his fault Logically, he knew this, but he felt guilty as hell, and sick Sick that he hadn’tfaster earlier in the day so that she’d have waited for hins, maybe he’d have somehon that today was different, that she’d really needed medical care and not just a little TLC
"I’ it under the blanket alongside her body "So dareeted hi and found Grace asleep on his living rooetic smile on her face "Didn’t mean to fall asleep," she said
He helped her to her feet, then pulled his hands back fro hied to walk her to the guesthouse without a word
"Josh?" Standing at her door, bathed in the ht?"
Her eyes were fathomless, and as always, he knew that if he looked into the
She shifted closer and brushed her y body against his Soft Warht now and find sorief out on her would be an asole thing to do "I’o back to the house
Not to bed, though No, that wasn’t the kind of oblivion he planned to settle for He went to the cabinet above the fridge for the Scotch, and then to the couch where Grace had fallen asleep waiting for him It was still warm beneath the blanket from her body heat And it smelled like her
He inhaled deep and poured hiers
He’d lost track of the number of shots he’d drunk by the tilass slider When he didn’t move, Grace let herself in
Josh wasn’t drunk but he was close as he eyed her approach She earing a cas No shoes Her hair was down No makeup He wanted to tear off her clothes, toss her down to the couch, and bury himself so deep that he couldn’t think
Couldn’t feel
He watched her cross the roohts must have been obvious because she stopped just short of his reach and gave hihts were on," she said "You can’t sleep"
He shrugged and tossed back another shot
"I’ only his gaze in her direction
"Since you were doing your ily silent male," she said, "I went to the source Facebook" She paused "Mrs Porter was very sweet And I know she adored you You’re a good ood doctor Don’t blame yourself for her death"
Too late
"It wasn’t your fault"
Maybe not But plenty of other shit was his fault Anna, still floundering in her new life Toby thinking he had to be a Jedi warrior to warrant hisfor its britches and losing the personal attention each patient deserved…
And Grace--the last lethal shot to his mental stability that had coeous goddess, running his world in her oay along with her huge heart She looked so soft and beautiful in the aht of her, so he closed his eyes and let his head fall back to the couch "You need to go"
"Can’t"
He didn’t ask why not, but she told him anyway "I think maybe that’s the proble brush his now
She was getting braver
"People go away in your life, don’t they, Josh?" she asked "You get left, abandoned, whether by choice or through no fault of anyone"
He heard ed off one of his shoes She was kneeling at his side, a position that brought dark erotic thoughts to mind "I don’t want to talk about it," he said
"I know" Having gotten his shoes off, she rose up on her knees "But you aren’t okay And I’ you"
He stared at her, ashao"
"No" She lay her head down on his thigh and stroked his other with a gentle hand "Tellher ht
She didn’t What she did do was take the shot glass dangling froers and set it on the coffee table Then she stood and pulled hihtened beyond use as he buried his face in her hair and held on to her hard
"You’re going to be okay," she whispered
No No, he wasn’t But rather than admit that, he took a deep breath He didn’t want her concern
She pulled back, and keeping a hold of his hand, led him down the hall to his bedroom
Bad idea
The worst sort of bad idea
Stop her…
He had her by a good foot and at least seventy pounds It wouldn’t be difficult to free hi after her like a lost little puppy
She turned off the lights, and darkness settled over theot
And he wanted her
Needed her