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‘I’lad we’ve cleared that up Now, let’sout, I’ Cassie with ards him carefully for a while, and then both men turn to me ‘You want me to leave?’

‘Wait in the bar forme a face that I’ve fast beco face

‘So, you only brought me in here to fucklare frolare, and if I wasn’t so slighted at the moment, I’d snarl at hi that has brought us to now only confirms that I’ For feeling helpless, for being difficult

Standing quietly, I turnthe door quietly behindthe fact that I know exactly which way to go I disregard the looks of interest being thrown at me by men, women, and staff on e of what further state of hopelessness the looks could cause giving th to do so

Once I’ve used the toilet, washed e, I e Bar and settle on a barstool, quickly ordering a glass of wine – anything to focus on except whatdown in Williaand cast er here A quick look athas been dragging out over years, but the thought of seeing Nan and taking her home in a few hours lifts my tired s of the bar and– the one I haven’t felt since before we left for New York – is suddenly bo onto my shoulders, and then the raised neck hair joins thelance to the side, seeing nothing unusual, onlyquietly, and a wo sensations and sip so as he passes to attend to the lady ‘Hendrick’s, please,’ she orders, her soft, husky voice dripping with sex, just how I remember most of William’s wo the art of verbal seduction, even so erotic Despite the reminder, I smile to myself, and I have no idea why Maybe because I know for sure that I never sounded like that

I takeas the bar et the entrance of the bar into vieaiting for Miller and Willia will they be? Are they still alive? I try to stop worrying, finding it easy when all of those unwanted sensations return,ers like mine

My heart catapults up tomillions of memories into a haze that floats before irl,’ she whispers

Chapter 15

The slass as it drops from my lifeless hand and clashes with the floor doesn’t even rip our eyes apart

Sapphire on sapphire

Sorrow on shock

Mother on daughter

‘No,’ I whi away on unstable legs ‘No!’ I whirl around to escape, dizzy, shaking and breathless, but crash into a huge chest I feel strong pal ht face orried eyes It only confiruy looks apprehensive – a look that doesn’t suit him at all

Tears burst from my tortured eyes as he holdsbody into rowls ‘Gracie, what the fuck are you playing at?’

The mention of o!’ I scream, and buck in Carl’s hold, distressed and panicked ‘Please, let o!’

‘Olivia?’ Her voice seeps into the corners of e of lost memories to attack me ‘Olivia, please’

I hear her voice fro lullabies, feel her soft fingers strokingout of Nan’s kitchen It’s all confusing, hten and every possible euy’s face – sorrow, sadness, guilt, anger ‘Fuck,’ he curses, and I’ pulled behind the bar He smashes his fist on a concealed button behind a shelf full of spirits, and the whole building is suddenly screa everyone jump up from their chairs The hype of activity is instant, and the unbearable sound is strangely soothing He’s drawing the attention of everyone, but I knoants just one man here