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He’s gone fro to the floor fro shock waves up olden tresses pooling in my lap makes me feel sick; it’s all I can see, so I throwwhen I face the stoht of Miller in psychotic action It’s all in slowcollide of his fist to the guy’s face repulsively clear He’s relentless, repeatedly striking his victie as he does TheBut not one person steps forward to intervene

I sob, wincing constantly as Miller continues to rain punches into the ht in the poor guy He isn’t being given any opportunity to fight back He’s coht of Tony to the side, looking on with dread on his rough face ‘Please, stop hi myself froht mind would try to intervene I painfully accept that, and when the focus of Miller’s rage collapses lifelessly to the floor and Miller still doesn’t relent, starting to kick him in the stomach, I succumb to my need to escape

I can’t watch anyh the crowds,and swollen from my tears, not that anyone notices Everyone’s attention is still on the mayhem behind me, the sick arseholes unable to tear their eyes away froer and stuht and disorientated, to the entrance of Ice Making it to the pave uncontrollably as I frantically search out a cab to take rabbed from behind It’s not Miller; I know thatwithin me

‘Inside, Livy’ Tony’s troubled voice sinks intohio’

‘Not a fucking chance’ He guides me to the stairs that lead down to the maze under Ice I don’t understand Tony hates me Why would he want me to stay when Miller needs to focus on this world? A world that’s now all too clear

‘I want to leave’

‘You’re going nowhere, girl’

I’ pulled and pushed around corners, down corridors ‘Why?’

The door to Miller’s office is opened and I’ his stocky body heaving, his jaw tight A finger cohtly ‘You’re not leaving, because when that onna be asking for you He’s gonna want to see you! And I’ in for round then he can’t find you, Livy! Stay where you fucking are!’ He walks out, sla in the

There’s still nofrom the club above I’m alone and useless in the bowels of Ice, with only stark silence and Miller’s stark office for company ‘Arhhhhhhhhhhh!’ I screa intoaimlessly, like I can pull the events of the past half hour from my head ‘I hate you!’ My eyes wince shut fro in again I don’t kno long I spend pointlessly wrestling with myself, it feels like eons, and it’s only physical exhaustion and a sore scalp that make me stop I whi and unable to let any cognitive thought settle and calht of Miller’s drinks cabinet that pulls the futile whirling of my body to a stop

Alcohol

I run over and clu of others, sniffling and choking on my emotions as I unscrew the cap and tip it to my lips The instant scald of the alcohol on hts, leavingat the discoulp it all down until the bottle is e it across Miller’s office in a teed My eyes fall onto the , turning and staggering over to the bathroom I collide with the wall, the door, the fra at a mess of a wo down lazed and haunted, andmy pale face

I see my mother

I look at my reflection with utter conte I hatethe bottle tomy own eyes Then I take a deep breath and stumble over to Miller’s desk I pull drawers open, swipeup his perfectly neat arrangeaze down at the shinysporadic sips fro blankly at my find for an eternity, I stand and wobble back to the bathroo the bottle down on the counter I look up ata massive chunk of hair, I open the scissors and snap the y section of hair that’s half the length it once was Strangely, stress seerab another section and hack it off, too