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Twenty-one days ago, he made love to me and I told him the truth of why I had cut him out of my life I watched him weep for a loss that was new and rahile I had had years to cope I received his understanding and forgiveness He let go of his hurt, and I decided to let go of mine At that time, my heart threw caution to the wind and became enslaved to hied to the onlyus that night, which is so about, and Haas right…she was cool But it was also made clear to her that he had noto stay

"Let me stay," Hahispers in my ear as his hand moves from my hip to my belly

What? Huh?

His hand snakes under ers in such a way overfarther upward, his hand reaches for and cups ently His lips brush ht"

I shake my head in denial, because it would be just too weird hi here with , fine, he can stay But I knoke I knowWe’d be all over and up in each other, and that gets noisy We’re a noisy couple Always have been I’d die if my dad heard that

"Co south He bypasses the waistband of ht in between ainstexhale of breath

He chuckles, bites ain "See…you want me to stay You want this"

Oh, holy hell did I want it!

But rabbed his wrist, and halted his actions "I do want it, but not here My dad will hear us"

"We can be quiet," he cajoles, but keeps his hand still

"There’s no e can be quiet," I tell hiets loud I can’t help but scream when you make me coe at the thought ofto us I mean, realistically, I’m an adult and I can certainly have sex with Haithout an ounce of shame, but e…just no I can’t do it with o to your house," I say as I’m struck with sudden brilliance, because I do want his, his ar "No It’s getting late and we’re not driving all the way to my house just to fuck, and then turn around and have you coue, because I really, really want him Hawke has to know that my reluctance is due solely to the proximity of my dad and not because I don’t want it I’m pretty sure I’ll alant it where he’s concerned

"No buts," he says, and then squeezessex"

"No! No we can’t," I argue, and that starts us both laughing softly so as not to wake up ging

Laughing

And everything is perfect in s have becoive up its freedorown stronger over the last feeeks Our days are filled with a sweet normalcy We see each other at work We joke We text each other He asks how , and he worries over how hard I work I praise his game play, take joy in his reconnection to old friends like Oliver, and continually adain, and it’s just beautiful to me

"So," Hawke drawls out, a ether, no sex, no hanky-panky, no nothing to cause you to screaht?"

And I didn’t think ooey where he’s concerned, but it literally flops over and ht

"Yeah, you can stay the night," I whisper, h to clear it

"Awesoerated accent "And for the record, I can controlany type of…uht want to perforh

I flip over on the couch so I’ him, and drape my left arm over his waist I have to tilt ht and his eyes sparking with aet too sappy with hilean anything about the state of his own attitude towardand falling into soently stayed away fros I try to remember back to the first time Hawke and I said the L-word to each other, and I remember vividly that I said it first We were on a free period fro under a large el for a calculus test He was sitting cross-legged on a blanket, and I was on my stomach, my book opened up before me He reached over and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear--the side that wasn’t shaved--and said, "You are the irl in the world"