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And then there came the inevitable time from deep withinI had cut ties with him as a means of punishment--both to hiht, I knew I had made a mistake I missed him so damn much and I had to believe that he knew I didn’t mean it when I told him I didn’t love him Surely he knew that wasn’t really me Surely he understood that people don’t just love one day, and the next it’s gone

So I called hi him to please call ain Left another e

I never tried to call back after that He wasit clear he didn’t want to talk, but that didn’tup So I sent him an email and then I waited patiently, because Haasn’t much of an emailer In fact, he tended to eschew all social ht ultiave up

I went through a period of self-castigation for ruining so and unsteady love, but it was love all the saot very low So loasn’t sure how to exist I didn’t hang out with my friends--except for Avery, who refused to let me shut myself fully away So she would hide in ot really depressed, would pelt ummy bears from the other side of the rooe I was attending and I even took up writing ray I was broken over everything I’d lost, solely due to bad judg

It finally took one--oragain He wasn’t about to watch mein self-pity forever, and after about a ed me out of the house and to the arena with him For the first time ever, I actually watched my father do his job Sure, I’d been into hockey, but everyone in Sydney was into hockey We’re Canadians, after all I’d gone to Oiler gah they werea boyfriend on the team But I never really knehatho him have a very close and personal hand in an athlete’s prowess I started spendinghith I watched young men come to him for advice, and I watched him improve play

And then I decided that’s what I wanted to do as well

"I assument means you don’t want corins down at ine those two perfect dimples he sports underneath his beard I hty fine look too

I wave a hand to an e"

He plops down and unwraps a large Italian sub on his tray "Thinking about your dad?"

I quickly shake my head because I’m not now, nor will I probably ever be ready to tell hi It was too painful to think about the night of the party Just talking about it would lead to u this truce with him tooabout how good that beard looks on you What roo another bite of his sandwich

I dip er, because that was always Hawke While he was fastidiously clean and always s, he hardly ever paid attention to his appearance Usually a quick brush of his fingers through his long hair or a shave once a as as good as it got with hih, and the beard definitely suits

Has, takes a sip of his bottled water, and tips his head at ed a lot"

I cock an eyebrow at his," he proer across the bridge of s to be sporting when you’re trying to get a job I got rid of thee just a bit"

Hawke gives a gruntlike chuckle and then dives back into his sandwich We eat in silence for a little bit and it’s not the slightest bit aard I’ if that’s because we’ve shared hours of silence together before, and know the safety of it Orto say to each other and that’s okay too

That’s probably it So s have died and we’re not ere all those years ago

Except, have feelings really died? There’s been anger and defensiveness on both of our parts for sure He wronged s that we should wisely confront and clear the air because ere s that will probably never happen because this peaceful little truce is safe and stress free

"Your dad says you’ve been busting your ass ork," Hawke says out of the blue I look up fro me with concern "Two jobs You ca and I saw your dad yesterday Stayed until around eight pm and you still hadn’t come home Is that par for the course?"