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There…I said it out loud It’s been acknowledged I finally said as in e to ever say to Gina for fear of destroying her

For the first time since this session started, Dr Pannaker actually looks at"Zack…it’s not unusual to have doubts like that Many,the very sa Ginanow"

Shaking"No, she didn’t have those doubts She was sure"

"Even so," Dr Pannaker points out, "it doesn’t e is sacred…it’s not sohtly"

I nod, because what he just said is the fucking truth It was sohtly or treat with a lack of respect In fact, it was so serious to me that I just couldn’t h I knew Gina wanted to

And that is where the true guilt lies It’s because I withheld so fro else in the world She was a wonderful mother, a beautiful woman, a fantastic lover, and a trusted friend and confidante She was everything a man should want in a woman, and she deserved to have so that I just didn’t love her quite enough to give her what she deserved, and I feel wretched about it, because sheback overthat I can think of that should have causedshe did wrong in our relationship Sure, we had our fights, but who doesn’t? Outside of that, our relationship was pretty much as perfect as one can be, so for the life of e with her

I don’t voice this out loud, though, and if Dr Pannaker presses, I’ to keep it with h on my conscience as a reminder of how I failed the wo e of my home, I cut my eyes over to Gina’s Mercedes It’s a two-seater convertible and completely impractical I haven’t driven it since Gina died and I need to work on getting it sold I ive it to her for all she’s done for ood chance I would have succu Gina’s death My parents were able to stay with me and Ben for a week after Gina died, but then they had to return to work back home in Nova Scotia Delaney had the freedom to work remotely for her job on Wall Street, so she stayed withme care for Ben and a broken wrist filled with metal plates and screws Thereafter, she flew back and forth froularly to continue to help le and very heartbroken parent I can never, ever repay her for what she did

Getting out of the car, I head in through the interior door that leads to the laundry roo with clothes I hadn’t yet sat doith Kate to talk about her duties, but much like she took it upon herself to cook breakfast yesterday, she is having no proble into the household chores

The kitchen is e from a Crock-Pot on the counter I walk over and take a peek, pleased to see a pot roast starting to bubble inside While I’, I still hate cooking, so I will have to say that is one thing that will go into the benefit colu meals served without the work or effort onburned or overcooked

The first floor is entirely quiet, so I head up the stairs I i froarage that we had converted

"Sing it again, Kate," he yells

When I look through the doorway, Ben’s back is toa sainst one wall Kate apparentlybehind it, and I know this because I can see her hand sticking up, holding one of his stuffed animals, which is a dilapidated old skunk that he’s had since he was a baby Gina hated that thing, but I thought it was kind of cute

"Okay, are you ready for it again?" I hear Kate’s voice from behind the couch as she e

"Yes," Ben cries out, and claps his hands in exciteainst the doorfraht in the center with s back a flood ofwith him, which causes my heart to ache She was a stay-at-home mom and all of her time was devoted to Ben Countless times I stood just where I aas

It fucking hurts to watch someone else do it with hi himself and the kid deserves that in spades

The skunk startsit dance all around, causing Ben to giggle