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Mike Malone just stares at Garrett with his eyes practically bugging out of his head, and Kelly sighs with dreamy eyes "That’s so sweet" Then her eyes sort of harden up, and she turns to her husband, slapping hiru his arm "I am sweet to you I’ Garrett reaches a hand out to Mike and they give a quick fist buood to see you, Mike," Garrett says "We miss you here"

"Yeah, wish I could say it was nice to be back, but, fuck…never thought it would be for a funeral"

The reement

"Does anyone knohat happened?" Mike asks

"They’re still investigating, but another vehicle came over into Zack’s lane of traffic He swerved hard to the right to avoid it and lost control Flipped the car down into a deep ditch Apparently, Gina wasn’t wearing her seat belt and got thrown froritted teeth "Why wasn’t she wearing her seat belt? That’s not like Gina"

"Who knows?" Alex says "I expect he’ll talk about it when he’s ready We’ve not been asking too et that," Mike says in cole father and, fuck…how do you tell a little boy hisback?"

The question lays unanswered and heavy a so simple that could have saved her life Just a freak accident, a moment in time, and a poor decision In just a blink her life was over, and we haven’t even really calculated the devastation it’s left behind

"How is he doing?" Kelly asks as her gaze flicks back and forth between Garrett and Alex

Alex shrugs and Garrett’s arhten around me tensely Finally, Sutton pipes up "He’s still sort of in shock, I think I’m not sure he’s really accepted what happened"

"I don’t see how you ever accept so like that," Garrett says to no one in particular Ormy hands up to hook over Garrett’s, which are still wrapped around my chest

"You find a way," Sutton says firrief He just needs time"

"I don’t know," Garrett says dubiously as he releases his hold on me I turn my head to look up at him, and his eyes are filled with confusion He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks over his shoulder at Zack still standing up on the deck When he turns back to our group, he looks directly at ht now…and I can’t even coine makes me sick to my stomach"

My breath catches in my throat, and at thisabout Zack I know he’s envisioning ould happen to hi the possibility and trying to already figure out a way to deal with it

And I sith guilt

"If you all will excuse me…I need to find a bathroom," I murmur with my eyes downcast I don’t want anyone to seeat this moment Not for Zack, and not for Benja terrible about what I’ rooe to raise aze up to his with a plastic smile on my face

"Thanks I’ll be back in a roup beforeabout Zack again I don’t take but one step and Garrett’s hand is on my wrist I turn back toward hi his head down, he peers directly into my eyes while his thumb skims acrossto portray confidence "Sure Just need to use the bathroo back and forth betweenelse in there that he’s ives me a relieved s rasp, I head toward the house with h I make ive in to the urge to just withdraw into uilt

This has been a bit of an eye-opener for me I know death is not on my immediate horizon, but it could coe There is so much turs I can do ahead of time to ease that for those I leave behind I make immediate note that I need to do a will, and also an advanced healthcare directive I need to make sure my mom knohere I bank and that she’s listed properly as h Fleurish Most important, I need to let my mom knohat my wishes are when it co those decisions

It would absolutely slay me in the afterlife if I knew my friends and family--if I knew Garrett--were devastated over my death I would want them to move on…enjoy life…seek additional love But that’s beyond my control I can’t make that happen…only wish it to be so