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I knew the voices were Jesse and Garth, and I could tell they were behindelse I couldn’t open et up and go break up the on-the-horizon fight

I was somewhat aware but totally immobile The alcohol had been especially potent after my month of sobriety

"You were a lot more fun to be around when you didn’t treat irls I’ve never touched anyone without the for it, or in a case you’re aware ofbegging for it"

"You son of a bitch!" I heard so and a dull crack that sounded like a fist connecting with flesh and bone

Garth’s throaty laugh sounded next "I like this whole anger thing you’ve got going on You were boring when all you ever did was smile and play the part of Mr Perfect"

I heard Jesse take a fe breaths before replying "What is Rowen doing here?"

"She came to see me She wanted to shoot the shit with someone ouldn’t put her to sleep after thirty seconds of conversation"

Jesse made some sort of noise between a huff and a snort

"I know it irl would prefer me to you, but it wouldn’t exactly be the first time Would it?" Garth’s voice was cool and re before I heard the next crack Garth chuckled again before spitting Jesse must have nailed him in the jaw

"Stay away from Rowen And stay away from me" Jesse’s voice quivered with e away froirl, but I can’t pro pause, I heard footsteps heading up a couple ," Garth said, his tone so overly innocent it sounded just the opposite "If this trailer’s arockin’, don’t come aknockin’ Oh wait, you already know that, don’t you?" Another dark laugh sounded before a door screeched closed

So ain when I heard a pair of footsteps shuffling lided beneath my body and lifted me out of the chair

Jesse didn’t say a word and I still couldn’t, but even if I could have, I didn’t knohat to say I was drunk I’d messed up Jesse had been the one to find me eyeballs deep in both It hat needed to happen He needed to see who I was because thatbefore I caved, but after he sahat I was, I didn’t have to worry His di for me at the kitchen table anymore

That hat I did That was how I protected myself I pushed others away before they could do it to me It was a self-preservation default, but as I nestled into Jesse’s ar him aas the opposite of self-preservation

Chapter Twelve

There are headaches And then there’s what I awoke to the next h the curtains were drawn, the line of sunlight streah the middle made my head throb when I opened my eyes I didn’t knohat time it was, I didn’t knohat day it was, but I knew I needed water and ibuprofen STAT

After prying e of my bed The motion hurt so badly, my stomach churned I wasn’t sure I could make it over to the wastebasket in time if my stomach decided to unleash on htstand was a tall glass of water, three brownish, round pills, and a note with my name penned across the front I went for the water and pills first, guessing I’d need them inside of me before I read whatever was inside of that note

I couldn’t reht; I just rees, words, sensations Garth’s dark eyes, Jesse’s heated voice, the burn of tequila trickling downacross my neck

Stubble

Oh, shit

One of the two ht always had a five o’clock shadow Another one’s face was smooth as sht was not the one I’d thought

My stoain

I tossed the pills intodrink of water The coolness felt so good running down lass back onto the nightstand, I went for the note Jesse’s handwriting ht and the piecemeal memories I had froht it for oneto finish The note was short, concise, and heartbreaking

What’s up?

Das and ravings What was up with me? I’d avoided that question most of my life I knew the answers to that question, but I preferred to repress the They couldn’t erase the past So as the point of searching for the answers in the first place?

And why the hell was I still thinking about it?

I shoved the note inside of the nightstand drawer

As I was deciding if I should just throw the blankets back over et to it, a soft knock sounded on my door