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But now here she was, sitting on my desk She didn’t move

I blinked Of course she didn’t move She was a doll Dolls don’t h Because the last tiainst stacks of old pictures and things from my room in Rhode Island A box I hadn’t opened since--

Since the costuht I saw randreen dress, only to find an opened cardboard box onit down I didn’t re it up

I rewound the memory Watched myself walk backward out of the closet, watched my mother’s heels fit themselves back on my feet Watched the water in the bathtub flow backward into the faucet--

The night I saw the doll was the night I was burned

The skin prickled on the back of ht for me I was stressed about Anna and felt humiliated by Noah and I raced back even earlier, to when I first arrived home I sawin before I touched it

I thought I was hallucinating that night--and I had I is at the bottom of the bathtub when they were inthe box down from my closet too

That was before I knew Jude was alive If he was in ht

My hands curled into fists He took the box down from my closet He opened it up

And he wanted s Watchingmy house

And when I left it, he chasedbefore, but noas feverishly hot I felt out of control, and I couldn’t let h I bit back ed clothes, then threw them in the sink I turned on the shower and inhaled deeply as my bathroom filled with steam I stepped into the hot water and let it course over hts aith it

It didn’t work

I tried to remind myself that I wasn’t alone in this That Noah believedover later and when he did I would tell hi they would calm ed, I looked at

It was leering

My skin crawled as I stood there, wrapped in nothing but a towel, facing off with her as my heart beat wildly in my chest

No, not her It

I snatched the doll off my desk I walked to my closet and stuffed it back in one of ed Mytricks on ry, which hat Jude wanted

I opened th of scotch tape, and taped the box shut, i Packing the doll back inside And then I dressed andhad happened at all, because I had no other choice

Time was supposed to heal all wounds, but how could it when Jude kept picking the scab?

It was early afternoon and Daniel, Joseph, and my mother had all come hoainst the pantry cabinets, holding a crackedwith both hands

"Mara!" Mythe second she noticed lass Our eyes met over my mother’s shoulder

"Thank God you’re okay," she whispered "Thank God"

The hug lasted for an unco time and when my mom released me, her eyes et She quickly wiped the tears away and dove for the refrigerator "What can I get you?"