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I clenched my jaw as I realized that I would always be afraid Now that I knew Jude was alive, that he was here, I wouldn’t be able to walk into the bathroo to throw back the shower curtain to make sure he wasn’t behind it I wouldn’t be able to walk down a dark hallithout picturing hi would turn into his footstep I would iine him everywhere, whether he was there or not

That hat he wanted That was the point

So I unlocked the door and stepped outside

I was enveloped by the dull roar of crickets the ht in Miaht sky was completely obscured by clouds If it weren’t March in Florida, I would have thought it was about to snow

I breathed in the damp air, one hand still on the door handle as the wind shook a few stubborn raindrops froht be out there, buthe could do

"I’m not afraid of you," I said to no one The breeze carried ht be alive but I wouldn’t spend my life in terror of him I refused If fear hat he wanted froet it

A ed it, and stepped into so soft

I backed up toward the house, fued

The still body of a gray cat lay inches fro, its flesh torn open, its fur streaked with red My feet were soaked in blood

I coveredscream

Because I couldn’t scream I couldn’tThey would ask what happened They would see the cat They would seeoutside

I heard my mother’s voice in my mind

"She was paranoid Suspicious"

That’s what my parents would think of me if I told them someone was out there That I was paranoid Suspicious Sick They would be worried, and if I wanted to stay home, stay free, I couldn’t afford that

So I turned off the lights and ducked back inside I left a trail of bloody footprints in the hall I grabbed toilet paper fro my feet until I was clean Then I cleaned up the floor Checked all of the locks on all of the doors Just in case

And then, finally, I escaped toI looked down at my feet I could still feel the soft, wet, dead fur--

I rushed into my bathroom and threw up

My hair was pasted to the back of ainst ed my knees to my chest, the tile cool beneath me I let my eyes drift closed

Maybe the cat was killed by an animal Another cat A raccoon, maybe

That was possible More than possible; it was likely