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I had never felt so desolate, so in need of his understanding Did he not realize how horrible the prospect was for me, as well as hie

I came up behind hi, and I stroked hi some comfort froth of hiht sht I’ to convince myself, as much as him He didn’tainst the curve of his back I wanted him to turn and take me in his arht--or at the least, that he would not bla h opinion of your power, have ye no?" He spoke coldly, turning to face raspedit to the wall above my head I could feel the tickle of blood down ers wrapped around ht

"Ye think it’s yours alone to say? That life and death is yours?" I could feel the s to pull free

"It’s not mine to say! But if she says--then yes, it’s my power And yes, I’ll use it Just like you would--like you have, when you’ve had to" I shutdown fear He wouldn’t hurt me…surely? It occurred to me with a small shock that he could indeed stop me If he broke my hand…

Very slowly, he bent his head and rested his forehead against mine

"Look at me, Claire," he said, very quietly

Slowly, I opened my eyes and looked His eyes were no old flecks near the center of his iris, the black ring surrounding it My fingers in his were slippery with blood

He let go ofit for a one

I stood quite still against the wall, and then slowly slid to the floor in a bloo with my heartbeat

I was so shaken by the quarrel with Ja At last, I put on e I avoided the path that led across the Ridge toward Fergus’s cabin, and doard the road I didn’t want to risk ht rain sputtering inter the leaf-bare branches The air was heavy with cold rees ht, toe would be cut off froht I to take Brianna to Cross Creek? Whether she decided to bear the child or not, h layers of wet, yellow leaves No My ie, but not in this case There was nothing Cross Creek could offer that would truly be of help in case of any obstetrical eer from the medical practitioners of the time

No, whatever she decided, she was better off here, with me I wrapped ers, trying to work some warmth and suppleness into them, to feel some sense of surety in touch

Please, he’d said Please what? Please don’t ask her, please don’t do it if she asks? But I had to I swear by Apollo the physician…not to cut for the stone, nor to procure abortion…Well, and Hippocrates was neither a surgeon, a wo a lot older than Apollo the physician--and that oath was in blood

I never had done an abortion though I had had soe On the rare occasions a patient had asked it of ue I had no absolute objection; I had seen too many women killed in body or spirit by untiht it not murder, but a justifiable homicide, undertaken in desperate self-defense

At the saeon’s sense that gave avecontents of the wonant wo heart; could trace unseeing the curve of limb and head, and the snakelike curl of the umbilicus with its rush of blood, all red and blue

I could not bring myself to destroy it Not until nohen it was aical Dr Rawlings had evidently not done such procedures; he had no uterine "spoon" for scraping the womb, nor any of the slender rods for dilation of the cervix I couldneedles, its point blunted; the scalpel, bent to a shallow curve, its deadly edge sanded down for the delicate--but no less deadly--job of scraping

When? Now She was already three one; if it was to be done, it must be as soon as possible Neither could I bear to be in the sa his anguish added to us’s house Lizzie was to stay and help Marsali, who had her hands full with the distillery, little Gerle-handed It was a terrible load for an eighteen-year-old girl to be carrying, but she ed, with tenacity and style Lizzie could at least help with the household chores, and h to let his mother rest now and then

Brianna would co with Rollo Ja told, I knew that Jamie would not be back for some time We would have a little while alone

Would it be a suitableGerh on reflection, exposure to a two-year-old boy was probably the best possible object lesson in the dangers of htened by the faint whiff of huainst the increasing wind As I came down the hill I saw Brianna’s horse in the penfold; she was home My stomach clenched in dread, I went to lay the choice before her

"I thought of it," she said, with a deep breath "As soon as I realized I wondered if you could do--so like that, here"

"It wouldn’t be easy It would be dangerous--and it would hurt I don’t even have any laudanum; only whisky But yes, I can do it--if you wanther pace slowly back and forth before the hearth, hands folded behind her in thought

"It would have to be surgical," I said, unable to keep quiet "I don’t have the right herbs--and they aren’t always reliable, in any case At least surgery is…certain" I laid the scalpel on the table; she should not be under any illusions as to what I was suggesting She nodded atLike Ja

A trickle of sweat ran down ers were still cold as ice Christ, if she wanted it, would I even be able to do it? My hands had begun to tre

She turned at last to look atunder thick, ruddy brows