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"There is body, and there is soul, Sassenach," he said, speaking slowly, ordering his ideas with his words "You’re a physician; ye’ll ken the one well But the other is more important"
I opened my mouth to say that I knew that as well as he did, if not better--but then shut it without saying anything He didn’t notice; he wasn’t seeing the dark cornfield, or the ht His eyes were fixed on a small room with thick stone walls, furnished with a table and stools and a lamp And a bed
"Randall," he said, and his voice was meditative "The most of what he did to ers of his right hand; the dressing on the cracked finger shone white
"I would have been afraid, been hurt; I would haveit But I could have lived, after, and not felt his touch always on my skin, felt filthy in myself--were it not that he wasna satisfied with e vanished as his fist folded
"Aye, well--ye ken all that" He turned away abruptly and began to walk I had to scurry to catch hi, I suppose, is--was this er to her, who only took her for a moment’s pleasure? If it was only her body that he wanted…then I think she will heal"
He took a deep breath and let it out again; I saw the faint white er h to want her, and not just any woht be that he could touch her soul, and do real dae--"
"You don’t think he did real dae?" My voice rose, despite myself "Whether he knew her or not--"
"It is different, I tell ye!"
"No, it’s not I knohat you mean--"
"You don’t!"
"I do! But why--"
"Because it is not your body that h, Sassenach!"
He turned and kissedainst , de I wanted so desperately of hiht
His fingers dug into rasped my neck The hairs rose up on my arms as he pressed me to him--and then he stopped
"I can’t," he said He squeezed edly "I can’t"
He stepped back and turned away froh blind He grasped the wood hard with both hands, and stood there, eyes closed
I was shaking, one watery I wrapped my arms around myself under my cloak and sat down at his feet And waited, ht wind h the pines Somewhere, far away in the dark hills, a panther screa like a woman
"It’s not that I dinna want ye," he said at last, and I caught the faint rustle of his coat as he turned towardin the ht, face hidden by the darkness, with the moon behind him At last he leaned down and tookme to my feet
"I want ye maybe more than I ever have," he said quietly "And Christ! I do need ye, Claire But I canna bear even to think of myself as a man just now I cannot touch you, and think of what he--I can’t"
I touched his arlad that he hadn’t asked for the details; I wished I didn’t know the all the time an act identical in its motions, but utterly different in its essence?
"I understand, Jaain
He opened his eyes and looked at me
"Aye, ye do, don’t you? And that’s what I mean" He took my arm and drew me close to him
"You could tearers touched the side of my face They were cold, and stiff "And I could do the sa a little faint "But I really wish you wouldn’t"
He sently We stood together, barely touching save our lips, breathing each other’s breath
Yes, we said silently to each other Yes, I am still here It was not rescue, but at least a tiny lifeline, stretched across the gulf that lay between us I did knohat he e to body or soul; what I couldn’t explain to him was the link between the two that centered in the wo up at hi person," I said quietly "Like you"