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By the time I finished those calls, I broke

I sat in my office, surrounded by coht with my body to calm down It was aluilt But by the ti Mary’s letter--and my Medal of Honor--I walk into the kitchen Then I swipe one of the lighters out of the spare drawer, place my medal on the counter, and hold her letter over the sink With one flick of my thumb, I watch as flames take over the old paper Each piece of ash that falls into the sink represents the guilt I’rab the medal and walk over to the round, ht, and take in the pictures E up Just one of theprojects she forcedher recovery

There are five fraroup of friends fro on opposite ends of the crowd I a directly at h it could hurt to look at this picture, I have to remind myself of what it represents--just how far we’ve co and Melissa had everyone over for a late welcome home for the twins Melissa hadn’t wanted to do it without Eirls resting against her good ar propped up on the couch She was in so oing You would never be able to tell by the look on her face She’s s down at Lillian--or Lila, as we’ve been instructed by her big brother, Cohen, to call her--with a look of pure wonderment I made a mental promise to myself that day that I would put that look back in her eyes--only, this tier over her profile in that picture and uys Axel has his ar with Coop, their heads thrown back hooting, and I’h when I reround with Sway, both of the bodies up It took litter onin places

"Dalitter," I mumble with a smile

The next is one we had taken when Chelcie came home frorave and had Davey take a picture Everyone was there Eh this picture breaks er have Coop with us, to look from the first one when Eether… Yeah, it is hands down one of my favorite pictures It’s our whole family All four of the irl is in rin stealing the hardness fro her very pregnant sto and Melissa each hold one of their beautiful daughters Beck has his ar on the ground next to Coop’s headstone with sad smiles on their faces In their arms is Coop’s son, Zac And then there are Sway and Cohen--both with red capes flowing in the wind, hands on their hips, and smiles on their lips Sway said that we needed to make this a place where we could smile at and not always cry…so that’s what he did

The last picture I take in, the one that sits in the largest frame front and center, is the one of just Emmy and me I didn’t even know it had been taken, but I could kiss whoever did We’re both asleep inwe did a lot over her recovery So often that the women in our circle took it upon the needed They would let the us they were here I knew they were co; my security system would trip them up every tiainst the headboard and Eh She had fallen asleep rubbing the skin aboveher lips press against ht before her body went slack and her hand fell to rest wherestopped That was the first and only ti like that She didn’t judge or flinch; she accepted it and loved me even more because of my scars Then I fell asleep with my head tipped back and a smile on hten out each frait right next to that picture of Eht next to the wo blessed in my life

With a nod, I walk back to the bedrooht where she belongs

Chapter 31--Emmy

I i Maddox was fast asleep when I woke up It tookroo I saw I don’tproduction over it; I set solass ready and hand hovering over the cold-water knob, that I see the ashes Theof such a ht throughinto my heart

He finds me on the floor in the kitchen I’ down my face

"Em? Jesus Christ, are you okay?" His hands roam over my body Then he checksto make sure there isn’t an obvious source to my pain

I just sit there and look into his handso in fast pants These da to stop their falling while he cups my face between his palms

"You did it," I sob