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"But John and I don’t like each other like that," I said, teeth clenched to keep
"You will," she said She said it like it was a preordained fact, and I believed her I always believed her
But none of it came to be, except for the Gen and Peter part
31
LUCAS AND I ARE SITTING cross-legged in the hallway, sharing a strawberry-shortcake ice cream bar "Stick to your side," he reminds me as I lower ht it!" I re to write letters to so for a friend"
"No," Lucas says He raises both eyebrows "Wait, are they sexy letters?"
"No!"
"Are they the kind of letter you wrote ives"Then you’re fine Technically you’re in the clear So who are you writing to?"
I hesitate "Do you remember John Ambrose McClaren?"
He rolls his eyes "Of course I remerade"
"I had a crush on hihth!"
"Of course you did We all did In middle school you either liked John or you liked Peter Those were the two main choices Like Betty and Veronica Obviously John is Betty and Peter’s Veronica" He pauses "Re stutter?"
"Yes! I mourned it a little when it went away It was so sweet So boyish And do you remember how his hair was the color of pale butter? Like, the way I bet freshly churned butter looks"
"I thought it was more like moonlit corn silk, but yeah So how did he turn out?"
"I don’t knowIt’s strange because there’s the him I remember from middle school, and that’s just uys ever go out back then?"
"Oh no! Never"
"So that’s probably why you’re curious about hiives me a look "You basically did I don’t blame you I’d be curious too"
"It’s just fun to think about"
"You’re lucky," he says
"Lucky how?"
"Lucky that you haveoptions I mean, I’m not officially ‘out,’ but even if I was, there are, like, two gay guys at our school Mark Weinberger, who’s a pizza face, and Leon Butler" Lucas shudders
"What’s wrong with Leon?"
"Don’t patronize er There’s nobody for me here" He stares off into space et he’s gay and I want to like hiain
I touch his hand "One day soon you’ll be in the world, and you’ll have so many options you won’t knohat to do with them Everyone will fall in love with you, because you’re so beautiful and so charh school as such a tiny blip"