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I’ in the dark and I didn’t invite you over

I’ll be there at eleven

I said I didn’t invite you over

I said I’d be there at eleven

Fine But don’t come in

I stare at my screen and shake my head I’ll be patient and wait until she’s ready to tell her fa Of course I understand her hesitation I’h of that shit to last a lifetiht as the hips all around me and the dark sky meets the horizon before me My intent when I took today off from as that it would be a day of reflection It’s Halloween, which officially marks one year to the day that an, which eventually resulted ina better person

Aside fro I’d been stabbed in the heart and punched in the gut at the same time, I was down and out with no one to turn to My relationship with ard of anyone else’s feelings but my own My friendship with Caleb had been strained froh we seemed to be back on track, he wasn’t around He ay training to becoent And honestly, aside from Dahl I had no one left in my life That’s when I took off for Australia

I spent four months there and loved every minute of it When I returned to California I decided to live in LA in hopes of getting o as planned Not only did I live in a shitholecoluative journalist job back, but since I wouldn’t play ball and divulgecartel or turn over the article I had written eonholed ive her what she wanted First of all, I no longer had any of that shit I had given it all to Caleb And second,the job she offered was just another poor choice Ilist of poor choices

But I had already been down so ht anyle catalyst is hard, but if I had to choose one I would say it was the investigation And although the investigation ht be why I had to leave est ti was so fked up It started out as a sih, I thoughtjust research it, write it, gain critical attention, rise to the top--and I’d be the next Anderson Cooper Well, that’s not hoent down The story I was investigating was not only way bigger than I ever could have ih that irl if I didn’t stop But even when I did stop, that wasn’t enough--they were co after ht would be the rest of my life

I defected to New York City and lived there for three years as Alex Coven The first two years were rough, but by the third year I started to irl I liked, started swi, and even made a few friends But that life seemed small and worthless the day the FBI knocked on o back home to California I didn’t even have to think about it All I kneas I had a second chance to gettie Dahl wasn’t the saer, maybe more brokenI don’t know exactly, but I do know she wasn’t in love withto figure out I couldn’t I stoppedto happen anyway, especially after Dahl found out I had cheated on her in college and wouldn’t you know it--it ith the sister of the guy she now loved

Then as if that wasn’t enough, my beloved mother suffered a stroke and passed away After that I didn’t give a fk about anything anywho I hat I’d done, what had happened to er caring about anything hen I lost ive a shit about anyone, not evenstep came the day I watched Dahl’s attacker and e I couldn’t take it anyirlfriend fro for company and since I was too, I went to her She was drunk, I was drunk, and I fked her as if she were someone else Of course Kiuilt and not paying the least bit of attention to how ht I was pulled over and arrested for driving while intoxicated and had no one to call--Caleb was MIA, Serena was in Haith Trent, and my only friends, Beck and Ruby, were out of town That left me with only Dahl And when I called her I was shocked that she caed after that Maybe it was the arrest that scared the shit out ofbut friendship toward Dahl when she droveI owed

But I turned things around after that day I quit the job I hated, I let go of the loose ends to the investigation that I hadn’t been able to put to rest, and I reconciled with una And in the process ofback into my mother’s house, my sister and I discovered that my mother had been awarded a ten-ful death and had willed it to us With that azines suffering rejuvenate themselves

I blink away the ht is clear, and the air is warht I’ on the back in a dress and heels even though I wouldn’tup the hill to round--my intent was that today would be a day of reflection, but now I see it as another new beginning

CHAPTER 16

What Now

Bell

Magic is in the air The A Grace Sound Studios have been transfor of Ivy’s new album, My Mended Heart, and by none other than myself I couldn’t be prouder of how it turned out Elation is buoyingto squash it I can’t believe how s in perspective I shouldn’t have been so worried about the past I need to concentrate on the futureas Ben said Because really--that’s all that matters

I breathe in the scent of the flowers that fill the rooht froical, just as I envisioned Aar into a glittering nightclub With six crystal chandeliers, dozens of round tables, and more than a hundred vases of purple dahlias and, of course, a splash of ivy

I’m not late, but I’m by no means early Jack and my mom dropI have so ht on my heels and they try to catch up with ratulations I have to run to make sure the food has arrived, and the table centers are just as I described, not to e and stop fooling around I’ a little overwhel Ben, but we had discussed it last week I’d told hiuest That was the truth, but not the whole truth